This Craig Ferguson one-liner may be my favorite political joke, but I also enjoy a short story with a good punch line. Especially when politicians are on the receiving end.
Chuck Schumer called Harry Reid one day and said, “Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America!”
“Great Chuck, but how?” asked Harry.
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most ordinary Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard-working people living there.”
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.
The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Harry Reid and Chuck Schumer?”
“Yes we are!” said Chuck, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color.”
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.
For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Chuck asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”
“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two a–holes!”
If the last word in that joke doesn’t offend you too much, you may enjoy what this little girl has to say.
P.S. Oops, can’t believe I almost forgot to include this joke about the crowd in Washington.