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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

What are the wisest words ever uttered by an American president?

I’m not going to pretend to know the answer, but there are some options that are high on my list.

I like what Ronald Reagan said about the government’s view of the economy, a quote that I shared just a few days ago.

I also like what the Gipper said about big government during his inauguration in 1981.

Since I’ve asserted that Calvin Coolidge may be the best President of the 20th Century, it behooves me to point out what he said, as cited by Reagan, about shrinking government to save people.

Going back further in time, it’s hard to come up with better advice than these sage thoughts from Thomas Jefferson.

And let’s not forget the principled words of Presidents Madison, Pierce, and Cleveland. Walter Williams has cited their impressive fealty to the Constitution, an approach that is in stark contrast to the behavior of today’s politicians.

Now let’s look at another option in our best-quote contest.

But, first, some background.

What is it that our statist friends want? At the risk of oversimplifying, they think the government should use redistribution to provide basic needs for everyone.

That certainly was the core message of FDR’s so-called second bill of rights.

And it’s certainly the prevailing mindset of most Europeans.

Well, there is a group of Americans – numbering above 2 million – who do have all their basic needs provided by government.

They get their housing from government. They get their food from government. They also get free health care from government. And their clothing as well. And don’t forget free utilities!

Who are these “lucky” folks? Well, these are the people locked up in America’s prisons. So, yes, their needs are provided by government, but the tradeoff is that they don’t have freedom.

And this brings us to a very good quote from General Dwight Eisenhower. Here’s part of what he said to students at Columbia University in 1949.

In these times when we hear so much of security, security, security for everything we do — when so many of us want to be sure that we shall never be cold, or hungry, or out in the rain, or have a leaky roof… I should think that the best example of it would be a man serving a lifetime in a federal prison.

And here’s an image I found online that captures the same spirit, though I confess I don’t know if Ike uttered these specific words (shockingly, not everything you find on the Internet is true!).

But since it echoes the same sentiment as his remarks in 1949, I figure it’s worth sharing.

Now let’s close with an amusing interpretation of Ike’s quote.

I’ve shared many jokes about our political masters.

Here’s one that I got from my mother.

It’s about a possible new “Part G” for Medicare.

Medicare – Part G – Nursing Home Plan

Say you’re an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of
yourself. The government says there’s no Nursing Home care available
for you. So, what do you do? You opt for Part G.

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun (Part G) and four bullets.
You are allowed to shoot four politicians. This means, of course, that
you’ll be sent to prison where you’ll receive three meals a day, a roof
over your head, central heating & air conditioning, cable TV, library,
and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need
glasses? That’s great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney,
lungs, sex change, or heart? They’re all covered.

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often
as they do now!

And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just
told you they can’t afford for you to go into a home. And….you can
get rid of 4 useless politicians while you’re at it. And now, because
you’re a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any more income taxes.

Is this a great country or what?

Now that we’ve solved your senior financial planning, enjoy your week.

Though I suppose I should add that this is just a joke and that no actual politicians were harmed in the writing of this post.

After all, there’s no need to shoot these scoundrels. As Instapundit periodically reminds us, tar and feathers are a much more appropriate punishment.

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After writing about such an emotionally charged issue yesterday, let’s change the topic and enjoy a bit of levity.

I’ve shared several examples of anti-libertarian humor, most of which are fairly clever because they seize on something that is sort of true and take it to the preposterous extreme.

Here’s something with a different flavor. It basically mocks libertarians for being naively idealistic youngsters who then “grow up” and stop being libertarian.

There’s enough truth to this that I laughed, though I think the trait of being overly idealistic probably applies to all politically minded young people.

I remember thinking “let’s abolish Social Security overnight” in my younger years, whereas now I think we need to transition to a system of personal retirement accounts.

Is this a sign that I’ve “grown up” and that I’m no longer libertarian, or is it simply a recognition that progress sometimes has to be incremental if we want to achieve libertarian goals?

I think the latter, so I don’t think the image is accurate. But it’s still funny.

Now let’s share some pro-libertarian humor, adding to an unfortunately small collection (here, here, and here).

Though I guess it’s only pro-libertarian by process of elimination because it describes what it’s like when people other than libertarians are in charge of government policy.

And since there’s plenty to criticize when looking at both Republicans and Democrats, you can see why this is appealing.

Now let’s close with some humor produced by libertarians. The always-clever crowd at Reason TV snagged an interview with President Obama. Sort of, keeping in mind that this video was released on April 1.

I especially like the jabs at Biden at the end.

And since I shared my collection of Obama jokes at the bottom of this recent post, let’s take this opportunity to recycle (and re-enjoy) these examples of Biden humor.

We have this caption contest, which led to a clever winning entry.

Here’s an amusing joke (with the naughty word redacted), and the late-night talk shows have produced some good one liners about the Veep hereherehere, and here.

And let’s not forget the laughs we all enjoyed when he asserted that paying higher taxes was patriotic.

Last but not least, Biden is (in)famous for his self-defense advice and he also featured in a few of these amusing posters.

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Looking through my archives, Hillary Clinton rarely has been the target of political humor. I did share a quiz last year that definitely had a snarky tone, but the main goal was to expose her extremist views.

Similarly, I mocked both her and her husband that same year for plotting to minimize their tax burden, but I was simply calling attention to their gross hypocrisy.

The only pure Hillary-focused humor I could find was from 2012 and it wasn’t exactly hard hitting.

Well, it’s time to correct this oversight. Thanks to the bubbling email scandal, we have lots of material to share.

Let’s start with a video from the clever folks at Reason TV.

Needless to say, cartoonists also have had lots of fun with the former Secretary of State’s dodgy behavior.

Here’s Steve Kelley’s contribution.

And here’s how Dana Summers assessed the situation.

And Ken Catalino reminds us that Email-gate is just the tip of the iceberg when looking at Hillary scandals.

And since we’re have some fun with Mrs. Clinton, here’s someone’s clever photoshop exercise, calling attention to her habit of extorting huge payments for platitude-filled speeches.

And here’s a bit of humor that has a PG-13 rating, so in keeping with my tradition, it’s minimized so only folks who enjoy such humor will go through the trouble of clicking on the icon. The rest of you can continue below.

P.S. Hillary Clinton is portrayed as the “establishment candidate” for the Democrats. Some people interpret that to mean she’s a moderate, particularly when compared to a fraudster like Elizabeth Warren. But if you check out these statements, you’ll see that she’s a hard-core statist on economic issues. Indeed, there’s every reason to think she’s as far to the left as Obama.

P.P.S. Bill Clinton, by contrast, did govern from the center.

Sure, his reasonable (and in some cases admirable) track record almost certainly was a result – at least in part – of having a GOP Congress, but you’ll notice that Obama hasn’t moderated since GOPers took control on Capitol Hill.

For more evidence, check out this interesting (albeit complex) graph put together by Professor Steve Hanke. You’ll notice that Bill Clinton’s pro-market record generated results similar to what Reagan achieved (and Michael Ramirez makes the same point in this cartoon).

Needless to say, I fear that Hillary Clinton would be more like Obama and less like her husband.

P.P.P.S. In addition to his decent performance in office, Bill Clinton also has been the source of lots of enjoyable humor. You can enjoy my favorites by clicking here, here, here, here, here, and here.

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Last week, I shared a TV interview about Obama’s budget, but much of the discussion was routine and didn’t warrant special attention.

But there was one small part of the interview, dealing with the silly claim that America became a rich nation because of socialism, that got me all agitated.

Well, to quote the great Yogi Berra, it’s deja vu all over again. Here’s an interview I did with CNBC about labor unrest. As you might expect, I made the standard libertarian argument that it’s not the job of government to pick sides when labor and management have squabbles.

That’s a point I’ve made before (here, here, here, here, here, and here), so there’s no need to elaborate on that issue.

But if you pay attention at the 3:00 mark of the video, you’ll notice that the discussion shifts to income inequality. And this is what got me agitated. I’m completely baffled that some people think that redistribution is more important than growth.

As I point out in the interview, nobody wins in the long run if you have a stagnant economy and politicians are fixated on re-slicing a shrinking pie.

The goal of everyone – including unions and leftist politicians – should be growth. If we get robust growth, that will mean tight labor markets, and that’s a big cause of rising wages.

But here’s my hypothesis to explain why statists don’t support good policies. Simply stated, I think they hate the rich more than they like the poor.

That sounds like a rather bold claim, but is there any other explanation for why they reject the types of tax policies (such as lower corporate rates, reduced double taxation, and expensing) that will increase investment, thus boosting productivity and wages?

Heck, look at this chart showing the relationship between capital formation and labor compensation.

Any decent person, after looking at the link between capital and wages, should be clamoring for the flat tax.

Yet Obama wants to move the tax code in the opposite direction!

I confess that I have no idea if this is because of malice or ignorance, but I do know that no nation has ever generated faster growth with class warfare.

I realize I’m ranting, but the more I think about this topic, the more upset I get. Politicians and their allies are making life harder for workers, and I hope I never stop being outraged when that happens.

P.S. On a totally separate subject, here’s a good joke forwarded to me by a friend this morning. It definitely belongs in my collection of gun control humor.

A state trooper in Kansas made a traffic stop of an elderly lady for speeding on U.S. 166 just East of Sedan, KS. He asked for her driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to him.

In with the cards, he was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a concealed carry permit. He looked at her and asked if she had a weapon in her possession at this time. She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box.

Something, body language, or the way she said it, made him want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now he had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse.

He then asked her “Ma’am, you sure carry a lot of guns. What are you so afraid of?”

She looked him right in the eye and said, “Not a damn thing!”

You can enjoy other examples of gun control humor by clicking here, here, here, here, here, and here.

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Shortly after Obamacare was enacted, I began to maintain a list of groups that were victimized by the law. But after listing kids, low-income workers, and retirees, I quickly realized this was a senseless exercise because virtually everyone in the country was going to be hurt by this expansion of government power and control.

So I then began to put together a different type of list. I call it the “least sympathetic victims” of Obamacare. These are groups that are being hurt by the law, but I think you’ll agree with me that they don’t deserve tears of support. At least not real ones.

Some politicians and staffers of Capitol Hill are very upset about the prospect of being subjected to the law that they inflicted on the rest of the country.

The bureaucrats at the IRS are agitated about the possibility of living under Obamacare, even though the IRS got new powers as a result of the law.

We now have a new group to add to the list. It appears that the faculty of Harvard University aren’t happy about some of the changes imposed by Obamacare. Even though many Harvard professors helped Obama design and promote the law!

Here are some passages from a New York Times report.

Members of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences, the heart of the 378-year-old university, voted overwhelmingly in November to oppose changes that would require them and thousands of other Harvard employees to pay more for health care. The university says the increases are in part a result of the Obama administration’s Affordable Care Act, which many Harvard professors championed. …“Harvard is a microcosm of what’s happening in health care in the country,” said David M. Cutler, a health economist at the university who was an adviser to President Obama’s 2008 campaign. …In Harvard’s health care enrollment guide for 2015, the university said it “must respond to the national trend of rising health care costs, including some driven by health care reform,” in the form of the Affordable Care Act. …Mary D. Lewis, a professor who specializes in the history of modern France and has led opposition to the benefit changes, said they were tantamount to a pay cut. …The president of Harvard, Drew Gilpin Faust, acknowledged in a letter to the faculty that the changes in health benefits — though based on recommendations from some of the university’s own health policy experts — were “causing distress” and had “generated anxiety” on campus.

Distress and anxiety on campus? Oh, the horrors.

I guess it’s perfectly acceptable to impose harm on the peasants in flyover country, but these Harvard elitists obviously don’t want to live under the policies that they recommend for the rest of us.

P.S. I gather Harvard and Massachusetts Institute of Technology view each other as rivals. Well, since Jonathan Gruber (the guy who was caught on tape admitting that Obamacare was based on lies) is a professor at M.I.T. and Harvard professors are the ones getting very agitated, maybe we should simply view Obamacare as a really clever school-against-school prank? It’s just unfortunate that the rest of the country is suffering collateral damage.

P.P.S. By the way, one of the reasons that Harvard professors are unhappy is because of the so-called Cadillac tax, which actually is one of the few parts of Obamacare that may have some positive effect since it’s designed to reduce over-insurance and mitigate the third-party payer problem.

P.P.P.S. Let’s close with some political humor.

This Michael Ramirez cartoon captures President Obama as a precocious school kid.

You can see why readers voted Ramirez as the best political cartoonist.

P.P.P.P.S. And here’s a very clever video about terrorists and the Transportation Security Administration.

For more TSA humor, see this, this, this, this, and this. And if you want more terrorist humor, click here, herehere, and here (at the end of the post).

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Yesterday, as part of a column about the burden of regulation, I shared a couple of Christmas-themed videos, as well as a tragic story of Santa Claus getting arrested by the IRS.

During previous Christmas seasons, there’s been other topical humor.

There’s more, but let’s focus on augmenting our list with some new cartoons.

Here’s Robert Gorrell equating Christmas with the federal government.

Very amusing, but I’ll defend Christmas for the simple reason that the whole thing is voluntary. Government redistribution, by contrast, is based on coercion.

Which is sort of the theme of this Eric Allie cartoon.

Though we need to remember that sometimes the statists bribe voters with their own money, but in other cases the statists buy votes from those who don’t pay any taxes (as illustrated by this Chuck Asay cartoon).

Next we have a contribution from Glenn McCoy that I find very appealing because it focuses on the ticking time bomb of poorly designed entitlement programs.

Very similar to this Lisa Benson cartoon.

Last but not least, let’s stop with the cartoons and try to answer the age-old question of whether Santa Claus is liberal or conservative.

The person who put this together says Santa is a conservative by a 6-5 margin.

Though the anarcho-capitalists may want to claim Santa since he’s from a land with no government.

P.S. If you have had your fill of Christmas-themed humor…

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When I want to make serious points about why gun control is misguided, I’ll often cite the scholarly work of John Lott or the expert analysis of Larry Correia.

There are also two pro-2nd Amendment columns (here and here) from self-confessed leftists that also make very persuasive reading.

And let’s not forget the Constitution protects our right to keep and bear arms (at least for those who still think that document means anything).

But I confess that I mostly like using satire and mockery when criticizing gun control. And I’m pleased to report that a friend sent me some very good new material.

So, in the holiday spirit, let’s amuse ourselves by questioning the logic of the anti-2nd Amendment ideologues.

We’ll start with one that has a two-pronged meaning. Because, like satirical images that can be seen here and here, it points out that both gun control and the Drug War are premised on the notion that government can make something disappear simply by making it illegal.

Methinks the person who created this poster isn’t a good speller. But his logic is airtight. Gun control would disarm law-abiding people while leaving the bad guys with all the weapons.

But that’s apparently too difficult to understand for people like Mayor Rahm Emanuel in Chicago (speaking of which, here’s how a statist might try to explain the different murder rates in pro-gun Houston and anti-gun Chicago).

Our next image makes a very important point that school shootings basically didn’t exist back when there was no gun control.

Even when actual machine guns were fully legal!

The bad news is that anti-gun political correctness has taken over and resulted in preposterous horror stories in many government schools.

But the good news is that while machine guns are now heavily regulated, at least Americans can still own tanks.

The next two images make the philosophical point that we shouldn’t leave all guns in the hands of government, particularly given some horrible results from the 20th century.

Very reminiscent of some of the images that are found here, here, here, and here.

Here’s another one to add to the list.

The gentleman makes a good point. Something definitely isn’t right, which perhaps explains why this poster of pro-gun control dictators is the 4th-most viewed thing I’ve ever written.

P.S. You can  see some amusing pro-Second Amendment posters herehereherehere, and here. And some amusing images of t-shirts and bumper stickers on gun control herehere, and here.

P.P.S. I have a snarky IQ test for criminals and liberals, but I also have a serious poll asking people why they oppose gun control.

P.P.P.S. The image at the bottom of this post makes me proud to be American.

P.P.P.P.S. I’m sure this is an urban legend rather than a real interview, but I always get a laugh from this transcript.

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