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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Yesterday, I shared some jokes about Joe Biden (since updated with a very amusing addendum). Today, to keep everything fair, we’re going to make fun of Trump.

We’ll start with Trump playing the role of James Bond.

Next, let’s look at Trump’s view of the world with this map.

If you liked this map, check out this collection of Trump maps from 2018.

There is some good news for Trump, at least according to Babylon Bee, America’s best site of satire.

Trump is polling high among an unexpected group: libertarians, who were energized and drawn to Trump’s cause after the New York Times revealed that he paid as little as $750 in federal taxes some years. “Only paying a few hundred in federal theft? This guy is my hero!” said libertarian man Murray Mickelson of New Hampshire. “If only all of us could be that smart with our taxes.” …Libertarians across the country paid tribute to Trump’s accomplishment by firing their AR-15s into the air and doing hard drugs, though this is what they were already planning on doing anyway.

Though let’s not forget Biden also aggressively avoided taxes, so libertarians may be torn.

I’m not sure there’s much mileage left in the Trump-Russia issue, but this cartoon got a chuckle from me.

The Onion has faded as a satire site, but it still produces some amusing material, such as this story about the Trump version of poll watching.

Pushing back against what he viewed as an overly hysterical media narrative, Trump supporter Tom Nagle whispered his assertion Monday that poll watching is not intimidation into the ear of a man filling out a ballot. “Keeping an eye on what’s going on at the polls is simply a way to ensure that the election is conducted fairly,” said an armed Nagle, his hot breath reportedly palpable on the prospective voter’s neck as he continually issued assurances that he was merely there to safeguard democracy. …At press time, Nagle had beaten the man unconscious after he was unable to immediately produce a voter ID.

The Onion also produced an article detailing how Trump can win.

With the election around the corner, the Republican Party campaign of President Donald Trump is looking for ways to win reelection over his Democratic Party challenger, Joe Biden. The Onion looks at key factors that could help Trump defeat Biden and retain the presidency. …Disenfranchise millions of Biden supporters with scheme to use electoral college exactly as intended. Win over undecided voters by committing to spare their lives during second term. …Giving everyone another 12 hundo couldn’t hurt. Disarm one of Biden’s key electoral advantages by killing Eric so he has a deceased son too. …Pledge to uphold core Republican values like massive voter suppression. Highlight dozens of crimes Biden failed to prevent him from committing during his first term. Refuse to accept election results citing upcoming Supreme Court ruling.

I’ve already predicted Trump will lose tomorrow.

But he’s about to get even worse news.

As usual, I’ve saved the best for last. I laughed out loud when I saw this meme.

Ouch!

P.S. If yesterday’s jokes and today’s jokes are insufficient, I shared some mockery of both Joe Biden and Donald Trump back in August.

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Back in August, I shared some examples of Joe Biden Humor followed by some examples of Donald Trump Humor.

One of these clowns (hopefully!) will soon be fading from the public eye, so let’s take advantage of this opportunity for a final round of mockery. Today is Biden’s turn – starting with this trailer for the remake of a classic movie.

The Bernie Sanders version was a hit in North Korea, so I’m sure this additional remake will be good as well.

Next we have a cartoon about Biden’s get-out-the-vote efforts.

And here’s a campaign sign from Hunter Biden.

There was just a big battle over Amy Coney Barrett’s elevation to the Supreme Court and some folks on the left want to pack the court if Democrats are in power next year.

Biden infamously has refused to take a stand on this topic, which has led to two examples of clever satire from the Babylon Bee.

First, we have Biden expanding this evasive strategy.

Joe Biden was asked yet again today if he plans to abolish the Constitution, overthrow Congress, dismiss the Supreme Court, and set up a Communist regime to take their place. Once again, Biden refused to answer the question… “Look, if I tell you whether or not I plan to institute a new Communist order, establishing a glorious worker-led revolution that will lead us out of this capitalistic nightmare and into a paradisical utopia, that would become the headline,” Biden said. “That would be playing Trump’s game.” …”Don’t voters deserve to know this?” asked a concerned reporter. “No, they don’t deserve to know,” Biden snapped back. “And you’ll be the first thrown into the gulag, bucko, I tell you what. Write that whippersnapper’s name down, Kamala.”

The Babylon Bee also reports that this evasive approach is being adopted by Biden’s supporters.

According to anonymous sources, local liberal man Penn Millikers proposed to his girlfriend but has refused to reveal his position on adultery until after the wedding is over. The staunch Democrat said he wants the woman to marry him but won’t reveal his position on adultery until the marriage is finalized. …’Lookie here, Jill! If I tell you right now whether or not I plan to remain faithful to you, that would become the story! This is just a distraction! I think it’s better to just get married first with no prenup. Then I’ll tell you what I plan to do.'” Other things he refuses to reveal his position on include taking showers, putting socks in the hamper, going out drinking with the boys every night, and watching sports all day while he ignores his family.

Here’s another cartoon about Biden’s voter turnout strategy.

And you won’t be surprised to learn that we have a couple of memes about Biden’s cognitive skills.

Here’s the first one.

And here’s the second one.

Since we’re on the topic of Biden’s age, let’s share another story from the Babylon Bee.

Democrats around the nation are growing increasingly worried that their candidate for President, Joe Biden, will live through election day… Biden had surprised Democrats around the nation when he spoke for an extended period of time off a teleprompter…, causing a bit of a panic among Democratic Party operatives and voters. …“We all went back to the drawing board to plan a strategy that includes the possibility that Joe might actually be President…” At publishing time, the DNC was throwing the idea around that maybe they should be airing ads that make Biden look a little more on the verge of dying to reassure progressives.

Biden also has a reputation for unwanted touching.

Apparently it goes all the way back to the end of World War II.

Last but not least, here’s my favorite example from today’s collection.

Given her reckless profligacy and knee-jerk statism, that would be a terrifying remake on an Indiana Jones film!

Nov 2 addendum: I received this cartoon late yesterday. It’s too good not to include.

Reminds me of the Hillary joke I included when I made my 2016 predictions.

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I normally share this comedy skit every Halloween, but let’s go for a change of pace and peruse this video about the government’s awful system of sugar subsidies.

 

But we do some appropriately themed humor, thanks to the satirists at Babylon Bee.

It’s Halloween, which means trick-or-treaters are beginning to flood the streets of cities and towns all across the country in a beloved tradition. Children joyously knock on doors and receive candy at most of the houses in their neighborhood—most of the houses, that is, except for that of Bernie Sanders. …he pulls out his large bowl of candy, reaches his hand out, and takes from the children who have a lot of candy, placing their “donations” into his bowl for later redistribution to the less fortunate. …Of course, the senator doesn’t provide his redistribution services for free: he takes a “small tax” out of his collection before carefully redistributing the candy based on his fair and equitable Candy Plan, which he draws up every year. At publishing time, Sanders still couldn’t figure out why kids kept avoiding his front door altogether.

We’ll close with a more serious point about Halloween, courtesy of Kerry McDonald’s column for the Foundation for Economic Education.

Several cities and counties have placed an outright ban on children’s trick-or-treating due to COVID-19 fears, while others are strongly urging families to forgo the practice. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) advises individuals and families to spend this Saturday at home, alone (masks optional). …Springfield, Massachusetts was one of the first places in the US to ban trick-or-treating. In September, the mayor canceled all trick-or-treating in the state’s third largest city, saying it was a “no-brainer.” …The Republican governor of Massachusetts, Charlie Baker, pointed out the potential unintended consequences of banning trick-or-treating… Baker explained that “the reason we’re not canceling Halloween is because that would have turned into thousands of indoor Halloween parties, which would have been a heck of a lot worse for public safety.” …bans and restrictions also punish children and young people whose mental health and emotional well-being are increasingly deteriorating under dystopian isolation policies. This year, these policies are the spookiest things about Halloween.

P.S. I can’t tell if this is a pro-Trump or anti-Trump cartoon, but it’s definitely appropriate for today.

P.P.S. If you click here, here, and here, you’ll see that there were lots of clever Halloween-themed cartoons during Obama’s presidency.

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Like beauty, socialism is in the eye of the beholder.

In either case, though, you get ugly results. You’ll wind up somewhere between Venezuela and Greece.

But we’re not going to add to the already voluminous research on the failures of socialism in today’s column. Instead, we’re going to laugh at this evil ideology.

For starters, I shared a satirical video in 2018 that showed the nations where socialism doesn’t work. This Amy Coney Barrett meme takes the reverse approach. It lists the examples of where socialism is successful.

Next, we have some mockery of some protesters who mistakenly think big government is how you save the planet.

Last but not least, here’s some helpful advice for vapid millennials.

To be fair, you can see someone who became rich from socialism if you scroll to the bottom of this column.

P.S. You can enjoy the entire collection of socialism and communism humor by clicking here.

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Earlier this year, I asked “Why are there so many bad and corrupt people in government?” and suggested two possible explanations.

  1. Shallow, insecure, and power-hungry people are drawn to politics because they want to control the lives of others.
  2. Good people run for political office, but then slowly but surely get corrupted because of “public choice” incentives.

I’m sure both answers apply to some extent. But let’s consider whether one answer is more accurate in more cases?

In an article for Quillette, Professor Crispin Sartwell of Dickinson College looks at this chicken-or-egg issue of whether people are corrupted by government or corrupt people gravitate to government.

“Power corrupts,” as the saying goes, and a corollary is that, other things being equal, the more power, the more corruption. …But perhaps the explanation runs the other way: It’s not only or not even primarily that power corrupts, but that corrupt people seek power, and the most effectively corrupt are likeliest to succeed in their quest. …That is, it is likely that a political career would attract moral corner-cutters. …There may be a certain percentage of people who seek power because they want to do good, or it may be that in the back of their minds, every political leader believes that he intends to do good. But to use power to do good, you’ll have to do whatever’s necessary to get that power. You’ll likely have to compromise whatever basic moral principles (“tell the truth,” for example) you came in with. …political power is a constant temptation to hypocrisy, or just flatly demands it. And when the public persona and the private reality come apart, a human being becomes a moral disaster, a mere deception. That is a fate common among politicians.

Professor Sartwell may not have a firm answer, but one obvious conclusion is that good people will be scarce in Washington.

And it’s not just the politicians we should worry about. The whole town seems to attract dodgy people.

In a 2018 study, Professor Ryan Murphy of Southern Methodist University found that Washington has far more psychopaths than any other part of the country.

Psychopathy, one of the “dark triad” of personality characteristics predicting antisocial behavior, is an important finding in psychology relevant for all social sciences. …While a very small percentage of individuals in any given state may actually be true psychopaths, the level of psychopathy present, on average, within an aggregate population (i.e., not simply the low percentages of psychopaths) is a distinct research question. …The most extreme data point is the District of Columbia, which received a standardized score of 3.48. …The presence of psychopaths in District of Columbia is consistent with the conjecture found in Murphy (2016) that psychopaths are likely to be effective in the political sphere. …The District of Columbia is measured to be far more psychopathic than any individual state in the country, a fact that can be readily explained…by the type of person who may be drawn a literal seat of power.

Moreover, we know that the crowd in D.C. figuratively screws taxpayers, but it appears they’re also busy screwing in other ways.

Residents in Washington, D.C. have the highest rates of sexually transmitted disease, compared to 50 states, according to a recent Center for Disease Control and Prevention report. Out of the four kinds of STDs that the CDC report identified – chlamydia, gonorrhea, primary and secondary syphilis and congenital syphilis – the district scored No.1 in the first three by a large margin… For every 100,000 D.C. residents, 1,083 cases of chlamydia were reported. Alaska came in second with only 772 cases. Similarly, the district had 480 cases of gonorrhea per 100,000 population, double the rate of Mississippi, which ranked second.

Since this report was based on data in 2016, it’s possible another state has overtaken D.C.

But given Washington’s big lead, that would take a lot of risky extracurricular activity.

This tweet caught my eye because it nicely captures how the “experienced” people in Washington often may be the worst of the worst.

And we’ll close with this quote, which comes down on the side of bad people naturally gravitating to government.

P.S. If you like mocking the political class, you can read about how the buffoons in DC spend their time screwing us and wasting our money. We also have some examples of what people in MontanaLouisianaNevada, and Wyoming think about big-spending politicians. This little girl has a succinct message for our political masters, here are a couple of good images capturing the relationship between politicians and taxpayers, and here is a somewhat off-color Little Johnny joke. Speaking of risqué humor, here’s a portrayal of a politician and lobbyist interacting. Returning to G-rated material, you can read about the blind rabbit who finds a politician. And everyone enjoys political satire, as can be found in these excerpts from the always popular Dave Barry. Let’s not forgot to include this joke by doctors about the crowd in Washington. And last but not least, here’s the motivational motto of the average politician.

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Yesterday’s column featured some anti-Trump humor.

Today, in the interest of providing equal time, here’s some pro-Trump satire.

We’ll start with this nightmare for left-wing parents.

By the way, I raised my daughter correctly, though I now worry she’s drifting in the wrong direction.

The satirists at the Babylon Bee report on anti-Trumpism in the media.

At his press conference last night, President Trump told everyone to stay hydrated and drink lots of water. “Water’s tremendous, very powerful stuff,” he said. “You won’t believe the things they can do with water. …It’s amazing. You can freeze it and make ice, I’m told. Ice is great for lots of things. Ice cream. Ice cubes. Igloos.” …Horrified journalists scrambled to warn Americans not to drown themselves in their pools and bathtubs. “Trump says water is good — but this is very misleading,” said Rachel Maddow. “Did you know that water kills many people every year? …Plus, do you know what’s hidden in water? Sharks. This president wants you to die from a shark attack!” Representatives for various bottled water companies quickly released a statement distancing themselves from the president’s remarks and warning everyone not to submerge themselves in the ocean for minutes at a time.

If I was still doing my weekly updates of coronavirus-themed humor, this next image would be perfect.

It’s a satirical look at casualty predictions for various events compared to the death toll from the virus.

I’m especially amused by the inclusion of “net neutrality” since folks on the left hysterically claimed the Internet would grind to a halt if that Obama-era policy was repealed.

Next, we have a old joke that has been reconfigured for the Trump era.

A CNN reporter walks into a neighborhood tavern and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy at the end of the bar wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat. It didn’t take an Einstein to know the guy was a Donald Trump supporter.

The CNN guy shouts over the bartender, loudly enough that everyone in the bar could hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, except for that Trump supporter.”

After the drinks were handed out, the Trump guy gives the CNN guy a big smile, waves at him and say, in an equally loud voice, “Thank you!”

This infuriates the CNN reporter, so he once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the guy wearing the Trump hat. As before, this doesn’t seem to bother the Trump guy. He just continues to smile and again yells, “Thank you!”

So the CNN guy again loudly order drinks for everyone except the Trump guy. And again the Trump guy just smiles and yells back, “Thank you!”

At that point, the aggravated CNN reporter asks the bartender, “What the hell is the matter with that Trump supporter? I’ve ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him and all the silly ass does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts?”

“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns the place.”

As usual, I’ve saved the best for last.

I’ll close with the observation that it’s always the right time to make fun of politicians. We should mock Republicans. We should mock Democrats.

And we should mock individual politicians – not only Biden and Trump, but also Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren.

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I recently shared some Joe Biden humor, so now it’s time to target Trump.

But there’s so much of it that today’s column will feature anti-Trump humor today, and we’ll look at pro-Trump humor tomorrow.

We’ll start with this video mocking the Trump campaign’s interactions with Russia.

Not quite as good as Iowahawk’s video about the Pelosi GTxi, but very well done.

Next we have a helpful suggestion from Microsoft.

The following cartoon strip is especially painful to me since so few Republicans are publicly opposing Trump’s wasteful spending.

Here’s a cartoon that made me laugh.

The artist, Mike Lukovich, is very clever for a leftist.

Here’s the Trump version of a joke that seems to circulate every four years.

Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and he asked her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?”

“Well,” replied the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Trump frowned, and then asked, “But how do I know the people around you are really intelligent?”

The Queen took a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.”

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send Theresa May in here, would you?”

Theresa May walked into the room and said, “Yes, Your Majesty?”

The Queen smiled and said, “Answer me this, if you would, Theresa. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Theresa May answered, “That would be me.”

“Yes! Very good,” said the Queen.

Trump went back home to ask Mike Pence the same question. “ Mike, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” said Pence. “Let me get back to you on that one.” He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, Pence ran in to Sarah Palin in a restaurant the next night. Pence asked, “Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Sarah Palin answered right back, “That’s easy, it’s me!”

Pence smiled, and said, “Thanks!”

Pence then, went back to speak with Trump. “Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.

It’s Sarah Palin!”

Trump got up, stomped over to Pence, and angrily yelled, “No, you idiot! It’s Theresa May!”

Ouch. Reminds me of this Obama joke.

Next we have a cartoon that puts the GOP in the role of being Jerry Falwell, Jr. (if you don’t get the reference, I reluctantly invite you to click here).

As usual, I save the best for last.

Here’s a message from Stormy Daniels.

P.S. Other examples of Trump-themed humor can be found here, here, herehereherehere, and here.

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Now that Joe Biden has been officially nominated, I should probably augment my analysis of his statist economic agenda.

But it’s also been a long time (almost nine years!) since I last shared some Biden-themed humor, so let’s make that today’s topic.

We’ll start with this campaign poster.

For what it’s worth, I think this visual would have been even better.

That being said, Biden’s propensity for unwanted touching doesn’t seem damaging, perhaps for the reason identified by America’s premiere satire site, Babylon Bee.

Medical experts were excited to announce today that Democrats have achieved herd immunity against sexual assault allegations. …”It’s amazing — the entire Democrat demographic is entirely immune,” said one researcher as he took blood samples from Joe Biden. “After conspiring with the media to squash any accusations that pop up, it seems, over time, Democrats have been able to develop a kind of herd immunity to any allegations.” Biden has been an important case study for medical experts’ work, as he can publicly sniff people’s hair and inappropriately touch many people on camera and still be entirely protected from any accusation whatsoever. His DNA is being studied for a possible breakthrough for other politicians. …Other political parties and at-risk conservatives are being advised to quarantine so as to avoid any allegations until a vaccine is discovered.

There’s more good news for Biden.

He’s been endorsed by Obama.

The Babylon Bee reported on Obama’s endorsement.

Many were worried Obama wasn’t going to endorse Biden, but he came through for the DNC establishment, telling everyone how deeply and personally Biden has touched everyone he has ever worked with. “Many leaders, um, you know, they, um, don’t rub you the right way,” Obama said. “But not Joe. Joe, see, he, um, touches everyone he comes into contact with, whether they want him to or not. …Joe’s campaign is very touching, that’s what I’m, um, here to say. So don’t let a Trump victory sneak up on us — embrace Joe Biden in 2020.”

We’ll wrap up with three more satirical images.

First, the former Vice President is prepared to defend America from foreign attacks.

The final two items target Biden’s alleged forgetfulness.

As usual, I save my favorite item for last.

P.S. You can find a few other anti-Biden jabs herehere, and here.

P.P.S. Sometimes Biden is unintentionally funny.

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From an economic perspective, socialism and communism are the same. They’re both based on government ownershipcentral planning, and price controls.

From a political perspective, however, there’s a difference. Communism is an authoritarian form of government, while socialism can be the outcome of the democratic process.

From a humor perspective, it’s easy (and fun) to mock the economic failure of both socialism and communism, but the jokes targeting the latter often include satire about oppression.

And you’ll see some of that in today’s column, which contains new examples of humor about communism. For instance, here’s a comparison of theory and reality (just like the last image of this column).

But communists don’t always murder people.

Sometimes, as you can see in this next example, they starve people (also the point made by this brutal tweet, and also the last two images in this post).

Next, we have pictures of three things that are associated with millions of deaths.

This next example of satire reminds me of a test where you’re supposed to identify the “one of these things is not like the others.”

Now let’s look at the communist version of Cosmopolitan (they could have picked Teen Vogue, but the disgusting morons at that magazine actually are pro-communist).

Last but not least, here’s an image that’s perfect for the Antifa crowd.

And click here if you want the economic version.

P.S. My entire collection of socialism/communism humor is here. My all-time favorite communism joke is this tweet from @fathercommunism.

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Yesterday’s column mocked Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her crazy leftism (though WordPress inexplicably posted it as July 1 rather than August 1).

So today, let’s fire in the opposite direction and enjoy some libertarian-themed satire.

Our first example points out that there’s sometimes a difference between libertarians in theory and libertarians in reality (very reminiscent of this image).

I also found this next image amusing (though I can’t resist pointing out that a libertarian society would have things like traffic lights for the simple reason that the the people operating private roads would have an incentive to maintain a smooth flow of traffic).

Reminds me of the equally funny (but equally inaccurate) example of libertarian breakfast cereal.

Here’s a libertarian brain, at least according to the left-wing stereotype. Since I have an entire collection of libertarian humor, much of which involves self-mockery, I like to think my “satire recognition lobe” is reasonably well developed.

I assume there’s a reason for fedora/trilby section, but I don’t know what it is.

For what it’s worth, my anti-Venezuela and anti-tax lobes are very advanced.

Last but not least, I do have some pro-libertarian satire today.

Heck, name one thing that isn’t regulated, prohibited, or taxed.

All of which reminds me that libertarians get very frustrated when the free market gets blamed for crises that occur because of all the regulation, prohibition, and taxation that does exist (think Great Depression, 2008 financial crisis, etc).

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As a libertarian who focuses on public finance, the 21st century hasn’t been fun.

  • Bush made government bigger.
  • Obama made government bigger.
  • Trump is making government bigger.
  • And I fully expect that Biden will make government bigger.

To be sure, we still have a long way to go on the “socialism slide” before the United States becomes Greece, or some other nation that might be considered socialist (however defined).

That being said, I don’t like the current trend. Which is why, in addition to my serious columns about the failure of socialism, I also like mocking that evil ideology.

Here are three new additions to the satire collection.

Our first example is partly based on the “not-real-socialism” excuse.

Next we have some satire about the left doesn’t learn any lessons from grocery stores in capitalist societies (to be fair, an American supermarket did change at least one mind).

As usual, I’ve saved my favorite item for last.

Venezuela is a tragic case study of what happens when economic liberty is smothered, But at least we get some clever humor.

I am surprised, for what it’s worth, that I haven’t seen more Venezuela-themed humor (here’s my only other example).

And I’ll close with the serious observation that I’m genuinely mystified that so many (especially young people) are attracted to an ideology with a wretched track record. Makes me genuinely worried that statism is on the winning side of history.

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I know pro-market people who plan on voting to re-elect Trump because they like his record on taxes or regulation. I also know pro-market people who plan on voting against Trump because they don’t like his record on spending or trade.

I understand their motives. What baffles me, however, are people who have decided – because of their views on Trump – to change their views on policy issues. Which is one of the clever aspects of this amusing video from Ryan Long.

By the way, this is not a new phenomenon.

During the 2001-2008 period, I constantly interacted with people who were against proposals for bigger government when Bill Clinton was in the White House, but then decided to rationalize George Bush’s profligacy and interventionism.

There’s a word for this: Hypocrisy.

This accusation certainly applies to politicians, who face pressure to “be a team player” when a member of their party is in the White House and issuing foolish proposals.

But it also applies to ordinary people. And this Ninth Theorem of Government is dedicated to both groups.

I’ll close by revisiting what I wrote about understanding the motives of pro-market people who are either voting for Trump or against Trump.

That being said, I don’t the pro-Trump voters to suddenly decide that it’s a good idea to squander money or impose trade taxes. I want them to vote for Trump in spite of those bad policies.

And I don’t want the anti-Trump voters to decide that it’s a a good idea to oppose pro-growth tax cuts and deregulation.  I want them to vote against Trump in spite of those good policies.

This analysis also applies to folks who are motivated by other issues (immigration, foreign policy, guns, judges, decorum, etc). Simply stated, put principles first.

P.S. Here are the eight previous Theorems of Government.

  • The “First Theorem” explains how Washington really operates.
  • The “Second Theorem” explains why it is so important to block the creation of new programs.
  • The “Third Theorem” explains why centralized programs inevitably waste money.
  • The “Fourth Theorem” explains that good policy can be good politics.
  • The “Fifth Theorem” explains how good ideas on paper become bad ideas in reality.
  • The “Sixth Theorem” explains an under-appreciated benefit of a flat tax.
  • The “Seventh Theorem” explains how bigger governments are less competent.
  • The “Eighth Theorem” explains the motives of those who focus on inequality.

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I periodically share tweets that have some sort of remarkable feature, either good or bad.

Clever counter-tweets are especially appreciated. I even started giving recognition to the most brutally effective response each year.

But I may have been too quick to assign a winner for this year.

That’s because a Twitter account called @architecturpic published this tweet yesterday.

While it’s accurate to point out that highway exits don’t produce scenic architecture, is this an indictment of capitalism?

Not if you compare it to the slums of socialism, which is the message in this devastating response from @BrentCochran1.

Ouch. As the announcers might say at a tennis tournament, “game, set, and match for Brent Cochran.”

Suffice to say that there will have to be co-winners for the best counter-tweet of 2020.

By the way, it’s normally quite easy to find both nice and ugly architecture in any nation.

So to add a bit of hard data to today’s column, I’ll simply note that the average poor American has more spacious housing than the average middle-class person in Europe.

That doesn’t mean the housing will be architecturally significant, but it does indicate that people are better off in countries with smaller government and more economic liberty (indeed, it’s also worth noting that the average poor American enjoys higher overall living standards than middle-class folks in most other industrialized nations).

Which is why any tweet comparing socialism and capitalism has a foregone conclusion.

P.S. At some point, I’ll probably set up a special page for “Remarkable Tweets.” But since that hasn’t yet happened, here are the other tweets that I found to be noteworthy.

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Exactly nine years ago, I crafted a “Declaration of Dependence” for my left-leaning friends.

I thought it was reasonably clever, at least for something produced by a policy wonk.

But I’ll never reach the standards of the nation’s top satire site, Babylon Bee, which has a story about how Biden, Pelosi, and other politicians will be celebrating today.

Every year on July 4, Democrats celebrate the high holy day where they thank the government for its gracious gifts. “It’s good to pause every year and think about how we are completely and utterly dependent on the government for everything,” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. …”This good and benevolent government was given to us by, you know, the thing,” said Joe Biden. …The DNC’s official Twitter account tweeted, “Let’s take a moment to think about everything we owe the government this Dependence Day.” …The celebrations conclude with the reading of the Communist Manifesto and the singing of “Imagine”.

Here’s the make-believe tweet that accompanied the story.

Though maybe it’s not fake.

After all, some of us remember “Julia,” the mythical moocher created by the Obama-Biden campaign in 2012 to show how government could subsidize every aspect of a person’s life.

In any event, there is academic research showing that traditional July 4 celebrations help Republicans, so it’s understandable that Democrats would want to change the focus.

P.S. My two cents is that we should be celebrating today the words of Calvin Coolidge and Ronald Reagan.

P.P.S. Given the BLM protests, I would be remiss if I didn’t call attention to the words I shared last July 4 from one of the Tuskegee Airmen.

P.P.P.S. And since I wrote recently about the (hopeful) death of gun control, I’ll also share this polling data from 2014 about how even 35 percent of Democrats agree that owning a gun is a form of patriotism.

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In a perverse way, I’m kind of sad that Bernie Sanders is fading from public view.

Sure, he’s an unreconstructed leftist with genuinely horrid ideas, but Crazy Bernie has generated plenty of clever humor (see, for instance, here, here, here, here, and here).

Fortunately, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is ready, willing, and able to take his place.

So let’s share some AOC-themed satire, starting with this bonding moment with Congresswoman Ilhan Omar.

Next, we have some humor from America’s top satire site, the Babylon Bee.

Democratic congressional candidate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez scolded American leaders for not setting the minimum wage as high as Venezuela, whose hyper-inflated currency is forcing minimum wage increases all year long. …“Venezuela’s minimum wage is, like, millions per month, and ours isn’t even close to that,” she said. “…We call ourselves a developed country, but we don’t even just like print nearly as much money as Venezuela and give it out for free, because of businesses and corporations and things like that.” She also called Venezuela’s leaders “really smart” for overloading the economy with more currency, and called on America’s leadership to do the same. “It just goes to show that socialism is better because you can inflate the currency to a lot more, and more is better than less, obviously.”

Ouch.

Here’s Spock from Star Trek, attempting to detect logic.

To be momentarily serious, I’ve interacted with plenty of socialists over the years, and I don’t think their problem is lack of cognitive ability. Indeed, many of them are quite bright. And AOC is probably smart as well.

The problem is that they have a religious-like zeal for equality of outcomes and refuse to believe that the policies needed to achieve that goal will lead to serious consequences.

But let’s save that discussion for another day and stick with satire. Here’s another gem from Babylon Bee.

Democratic candidate for Congress Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was in the middle of a run-of-the-mill interview—blankly staring at the interviewer for a minute straight after being asked how she’d pay for all the social programs she’s proposing—when disaster struck. She noticed a book on a table nearby and reached over to pick it up before anyone could stop her. …Ocasio-Cortez screamed as her hand burst into flames from touching the book on rudimentary economic concepts. …She was immediately rushed to the hospital. “As socialism has become increasingly popular, we’ve been seeing more and more of this,” said Doctor Pauline Hudson, who treated Ocasio-Cortez for third-degree burns. “Often it’s a severe-allergic reaction to math.

Last but not least, I don’t think this final image is close to being laugh-out-loud funny, but I nonetheless liked it a lot because it points out that leftists in the capitalist world are usually very happy to enjoy the benefits of free markets.

Indeed, the Fund for American Studies should remake this video with AOC in the starring role.

P.S. If you want other examples of Ocasio-Cortez humor, click here and here.

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To the best of my recollection, it’s been several years since I shared a collection of anti-politicians jokes.

Given the odious behavior of people in government, that’s an oversight I’m going to rectify today.

Though I’m not sure if this first example is about politicians or about bureaucrats.

This next bit of humor reminds us that stereotyping is wrong…unless you’re looking at the crowd in the lower frame.

Next we have a politician who promises to be a quick learner.

Here’s an example of some Robin Hood-style redistribution we can all support.

Our next-to-last item helps to explain why Washington is now the richest region of America, even though its main output is waste, red tape, and corruption.

I’ve saved the best for last.

I’ll close with a serious point. Do bad people naturally gravitate to politics, or do the perverse incentives of politics turn good people into bad people?

Or does it even matter since the net result is the same?

P.S. I also have jokes about specific politicians, ranging from Bernie Sanders to Donald Trump (with appearances by Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Elizabeth Warren, and Bill Clinton).

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Assuming the Democrats also win the Senate along with the White House, we may be poised to take a big leap in the direction of bigger government and more statism (which is why I explained a Clinton victory in 2016 would not have been the worst possible outcome).

As such, we may as well enjoy some laughs about our potential socialist future.

We’ll start with a creative reinterpretation of a scene from King of the Hill.

Looks like we’ll have to figure out other ways of rescuing young people from socialism.

Here’s a clever tweet from @ClassicLiberal.

Having visited Moscow shortly after the collapse of the Soviet Union, I can assure you that socialist economies do a terrible job of producing goods that consumers actually value.

I’ve written many times about people on the left not understanding the real definition of socialism (government ownershipcentral planning, and price controls), so this next meme appealed to me.

And it also will appeal to me left-leaning friends since it shows that some folks on the right also don’t understand that the debate over socialism is not the same as the debate over redistributionism.

Last but not least, here’s the humorous version of my full-socialism-vs-full-stomachs column.

Very similar to the last memes in this column and this column.

Though, given what’s happening in Venezuela, we probably shouldn’t laugh.

P.S. For more examples of socialism humor, here’s a link to my collection.

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I started sharing politically-themed coronavirus humor back in March and that’s now been a tradition for nine consecutive weekends (see here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here).

This will be the final edition.

We’ll start with a clever video from Kevin James. It could be entitled, Revenge of the Karens.

Next we have a helpful suggestion from the practitioners of coronavirus thuggery.

The clever folks at Babylon Bee have a story about disappointed governors.

Democrat governors across the nation have urged states to continue their lockdowns, saying if they end prematurely, their time in the limelight will be over. …said California Governor Gavin Newsom. “I can’t let this $500 hair cut go to waste. I spend thousands on hair gel alone every month. If I can’t give a press conference every night, it’s all for nothing!” Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York agreed. “We must continue this crisis as long as possible so that people will know who I am,”… A study confirmed the governors’ worst fears, showing that in states with no COVID-19 restrictions, people don’t think about the government much at all and just go about their daily lives. “We can’t let that happen,” said Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

The people who think that Bill and Hillary Clinton somehow had Jeffrey Epstein killed will like this bit of satire.

For what it’s worth, I always remind conspiracy-minded people that routine government incompetence is usually a better explanation for why things happen.

Next, we have a reminder that the climate alarmists must be very disappointed and jealous that they’ve been displaced by a crisis that actually does kill people.

I wrote recently about Florida’s economic success. Now, let’s look at another story from Babylon Bee, this one about how the Sunshine State is in trouble for its reaction to the virus.

Science says Florida should have seen skyrocketing deaths from COVID-19, but instead Florida — despite its large elderly population — has not seen anywhere near the number of problems faced by states like New York and New Jersey. This has been ruled to be in complete defiance of Science. …Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin… “Florida is undermining our trust in Science by not dying. We cannot tolerate this. More Floridians need to die. To die for Science.” California Governor and Science believer Gavin Newsom agreed. “Ron DeSantis is a witch! Burn him!” …There is now a movement by Science-believing Democrats to actively try to infect Floridians to try to get their death count to match projections.

As usual, I’ve saved my favorite for the end.

I’ve acknowledged that there’s much we don’t know about the virus and how to react. But I feel very confident in stating that the most bone-headed decision by politicians has been to endanger ordinary people by releasing criminals while at the same time arresting ordinary people and exposing them to the supposedly coronavirus-spreading justice system.

Which is the message of this Chip Bok cartoon.

If you find this cartoon amusing, I highlighted my favorite Bok creations as part of a contest to identify the best political cartoonist.

P.S. I wish some of the ways that politicians have reacted to the virus – such as this, this, this, and this – were satire rather than reality.

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Continuing with an unfortunate tradition, here’s our eighth weekend collection of satire about the mix of public policy and coronavirus.

We’ll start with one of Remy’s Reason videos, which are always worth watching.

I wrote last year about superior education outcomes for home-schooled kids.

Apparently there are other benefits to being away from government schools.

Since we’re on the topic of education, America’s top satire site, Babylon Bee, reports that teachers in government school actually want an end to the lockdown.

Teachers at government schools have raised their concerns that the recent closure of their institutions will have a damaging effect on students. …”We must reopen as soon as possible — before they regain their ability to have independent thoughts,” said New York 4th-grade teacher Ms. Jenny Mudd. “…we have to do our part to prevent the spread of the virus, but we must also prevent the spread of unapproved ideas. There’s a balance there.” …Sure enough, studies have already shown a strong correlation between everyone being homeschooled and a concerning spike in independent thought. …a shocking increase in the ability to form thoughts and ideas not approved by the government. …said Portland kindergarten teacher Ms. Pinkerton. “Parents just don’t have the experience of stuffing kids’ heads full of a statist worldview seven hours a day like I do.”

Speaking of statist worldviews, I laughed out loud when I saw this mockery of CNN.

Another story from Babylon Bee reminds home-bound Americans that going outside makes them very bad people.

Many Americans are growing tired of the lockdown and want to once again leave their homes and go do things. As many historians note, this is similar to the attitude of genocidal maniac Adolf Hitler. …There are many photos of Hitler outside, providing ironclad proof that Hitler also liked to leave his house. It’s not certain, though, what the connection is between hateful bigotry and not wanting to be trapped in one’s own home. “We can’t know what’s motivating these people who want to get out of their houses,” said California Governor Gavin Newsom, “but is genocide next? History says yes.” In Hitler’s final days, though, he did dutifully shelter in place — living in a bunker — despite wanting to go outside, so historians note that people who actually do go outside are in fact “worse than Hitler.”

Next we have a Branco cartoon with an interesting take on the saves-lives-no-matter-the-cost argument.

Here’s some satire from our friends on the left.

Not as clever as this little collection, but still worth sharing.

The dark cloud of coronavirus does have a silver lining for fans of socialism.

As the Babylon Bee reports, fewer workers are being exploited.

The pandemic has been troublesome for many, but one group is celebrating a victory: socialists. “Capitalism is all about exploiting workers,” said Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a congressional representative from New York and the world’s smartest socialist. “But now there’s, like, nobody working, so they can’t exploit anyone. Take that, billionaires!” …As the capitalist engine of having people work grinds to a halt, billionaires should be hit even harder, some of them plummetting from being billionaires to being just multi-millionaires as millions and millions of Americans go unemployed. “Yay! We’re winning!” Ocasio-Cortez exclaimed. She hoped even more people would leave jobs — except for the people whose job it is to print money.

I’ve pointed out that there are inescapable real-world tradeoffs.

But here’s the one-sided algorithm that some politicians are using.

My tradition is to save the best for last.

I imagine Michigan’s governor, Gretchen Whitmer, based her approach on this very biting example of satire.

You can enjoy previous versions of coronavirus humor by clicking hereherehereherehere, here, here, and here.

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As a policy wonk, I wish people would get excited about my columns about topics such as “tax depreciation” and “trade data” and my missives about issues such as “budget concepts” and “cost-benefit analysis.”

Instead, I notice that my humor-oriented columns generate a lot more traffic, which is somewhat humbling since I’m not contributing anything. All I’m doing is sharing items that have appeared in my inbox or that I’ve seen on social media.

With that grudging confession out of the way, time for another edition of politically-themed coronavirus satire.

And we’ll start with a repeat appearance by Bill Clinton, though I don’t think he realizes that the debate is about a different type of Swedish model.

For what it’s worth, this meme first showed up on this site back in 2012.

Next, a satire site from Ireland reminds us about the real heroes of the coronavirus.

Dublin clamper Joseph Culleton will not hear any talk of him being labeled a ‘hero’. …“Honestly, we’re just doing our bit. Actually, I’m kind of embarrassed by all the praise we’re getting, it’s the nurses and doctors who are the real heroes,” confirmed Culleton as he clamped a nurse’s car. …the eagle eyed clamper…admitted to having a tear in his eye when reading news reports that children in their thousands, inspired by the selfless work by front line workers, want to become clampers when they’re older.

Sounds like he belongs in the Bureaucrat Hall of Fame!

Let’s now travel to Sesame Street to see how the goal posts have been moved.

A very helpful message from Count von Count, but it doesn’t change my mind about eliminating his taxpayer subsidies.

Next, we have a contribution from Babylon Bee, America’s best satire site.

When the lockdowns started and stay-at-home orders were issued, the Bill of Rights was taken out of the National Archives and put somewhere for safekeeping since it wasn’t really needed at the time and no one wanted it to get damaged. Now that states are starting to open things up again, no one can seem to find it. “It’s probably under a couch or something,” said President Trump. “We’ll find it eventually.” …Now that it has been lost, many are unsure what to do, though some think we can make do without it. “I think most of us remember what was in it,” said Senator Bernie Sanders. “There was stuff about health care and not letting anyone have way more money than you.”

By the way, the quote from Crazy Bernie is only partly satirical. Some folks on the left genuinely want to create a “right” to other people’s money.

This image is real life, so truth is stranger than fiction.

This next image is satire, of course, but it makes a very real point about how safety concerns can be taken too far.

Here’s another story from the Babylon Bee, though I’ve pared down the number of steps for reasons of brevity. I think it’s satire, but it could be reality in states such as Michigan and New York.

One state governor is enjoying universal acclaim after unveiling his own innovative plan for getting his state reopened. The new plan is called ‘Our Vision for Health, Safety, Virtue, and Eternal Peace’ and is a 37-step, 10-year plan for slowly opening up sections of the state economy. It reads as follows:

  • Form an exploratory committee to consult various experts on reopening things
  • Create a panel of experts to explore the recommendations recommended by the exploratory committee
  • Build a brand new website to post exploratory committee recommendations for public comment
  • Take away all the guns
  • Announce a 12-phase reopening of the economy, starting with the businesses with the best lobbyists
  • Form a new committee to review the effectiveness of Phase 1 before moving on to Phase 2
  • Order drones from China and post them in front of every hair salon
  • Draft legislation allowing people to eat squirrels and possums
  • Strengthen the security of governors mansion with sniper towers and tiger pits
  • (redacted)
  • (Super-secret surprise to be determined later)
  • Open the rest of the economy

Other states have announced they will wait 10-15 years to judge the effectiveness of this 37 part plan before releasing their own plans. The only exception is Texas, whose governor simply said, “We’re open, y’all!”

Yes, Texas is different than other states. And other continents as well.

This tweet won’t be funny to readers who like Trump.

Following tradition, I’ve saved the best for last.

You can enjoy previous versions of coronavirus humor by clicking hereherehereherehere, and here, and here.

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For this seventh edition of coronavirus humor (previous versions here, here, here, here, here, and here), let’s start with a clever video from Reason.

There are many reasons why the Founding Fathers are rolling in their graves.

The coronavirus is merely the most-recent example.

While law-abiding people are worried about crime and societal breakdown, it appears that criminals also have something to worry about.

Meanwhile, the Babylon Bee satirizes vapid celebrities.

No matter how they expressed their emotions, everyone agreed that the scene off the Malibu coast Monday morning was exactly what America needed to get through this pandemic. Celebrities gathered their multi-million-dollar yachts on the waters of the Pacific Ocean and spelled out “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.” “We’re just like you,” said Ellen DeGeneres on her Instagram as her servants sailed her yacht into position to form the apostrophe. …”Stay home, save lives — it’s not that hard,” said Patton Oswalt, whose fleet of yachts made up several of the letters. “Look, poor people, it’s not worth risking your life just to go to Fuddruckers or work a job or whatever it is you peasants do all day.” …”All of humanity is fighting this together and we’re all as one,” said Lady Gaga, who was wearing a bathing suit made out of gold bricks. “Though, I mean, don’t try to get on my yacht. My guards will literally shoot you. That’s not a metaphor.”

Since we’ve seen many examples of thuggery by local governments, this next item obviously belongs in today’s collection.

Here’s some satire for people who don’t like Trump.

And here’s one for pro-Trump readers.

Given knee-jerk libertarianism, it’s easy to understand why this is my favorite item in today’s collection

Politicians using a crisis to expand their power and control? Surely you jest.

Or, maybe not.

Though, unlike in previous crises, at least in this instance they didn’t cause the crisis in the first place (though their policies have hindered an effective response).

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Looking through my archives, I shared three column of gun control humor in 2019 (March, August, and December).

So it’s definitely time to add some new items to our collection.

We’ll start with a cartoon that shows how gun-control zealots would try to stop the coronavirus.

And I’m sure it will work just as well as signs declaring gun-free zones.

Next we have some satire about civil disobedience, this time in Virginia.

The bad news is that some new restrictions on gun rights were approved. The good news is that the worst idea was blocked by a citizen revolt.

Adolf Hitler imposed gun control after the Nazis seized power, so he’s looking up from hell (along with his fellow dictators) and can’t believe some people want to be disarmed.

Our next item for the collection is a clever depiction of the difference between open carry and concealed carry.

In either case, life is more difficult for criminals.

This next bit of satire is self-explanatory.

I don’t know Jordan Howard, but “a group of Karens who hate freedom” is a very succinct description.

As is my habit, I’m closing with my favorite item (even if the person who put it together obviously isn’t an expert on guns).

I’ve been in this situation a few times, though efforts to muzzle me usually aren’t very effective.

I don’t even own any “assault weapons,” much less one with a high-capacity magazine. But I definitely don’t want the government to restrict my freedom in case circumstances lead me change my mind.

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Having written about serious and depressing coronavirus-related issues during the week, it’s time for some politically-themed coronavirus humor.

Regular readers know that I’m a long-time proponent of this message for healthy thinking.

Moreover, I think it’s safe to say that coronavirus won’t come close to killing as many people as the various strains of socialism.

Here’s some humor based on Dr. Trump’s latest medical advice.

The coronavirus is bad for the nation, but it’s given the crowd in Washington a reason to engage in their favorite activity.

Which leads America’s best satire site, Babylon Bee, to report on a crime wave.

A nefarious gang of masked bandits has voted to steal another $500 billion from your grandchildren, investigators confirmed Thursday. The mysterious masked culprits…have not been apprehended yet and so are continuing to plot more heists. …”It’s the perfect crime,” said the gang’s ringleader, cackling, as she approved the plan to rob your grandchildren of their future. “We print the money, we borrow the money, then we’re gone before the bill comes due. The plan is flawless!”

Well, not quite flawless.

Here’s the latest version of a very recognizable meme.

Fortunately, I’ve never seen bats on the menu as part of my travels to China.

Here’s another jab at Trump’s medical advice.

Here are some excerpts from another report published by Babylon Bee, this one dealing with the petty tyrants in flyover country.

On Meet the Press Sunday, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer reminded everyone that “revolutions and revolts are simply un-American.” Whitmer called on the protesters in her state to stop their illegal assembling, reminding them that protesting so-called tyranny is a foreign idea to the history of the United States. …”It flies in the face of every American tradition. Revolting against tyranny has no place in this great country.” Governor Whitmer then rattled off a long list of things that she also believes to be un-American: …Declaring independence from tyrants… Having a list of protected rights… Separation of powers… Freedom of religion, assembly, the press, protests, and speech… Federalism… “If you’re really Americans, you’ll stop with this dangerous revolutionary activity,” she concluded.

Here’s a clever image that applicable if you recognize there are tradeoffs.

Since I’ve written about the economic tradeoffs, I obviously want people to die.

Here’s a report from the Babylon Bee on a big increase in severe cases.

America suffered its highest one-day increase in cases of Trump Derangement Syndrome yesterday, adding 317,259 new cases. This brought the number of U.S. cases to roughly 59 million, while worldwide cases of the deadly disease increased to 110 million. The peak in cases was brought on by President Trump’s growing urgency to reopen the economy and allow people to go back to work. Scholars have noted that this is equivalent to slavery. …“Our models have been quite accurate from day one,” claimed Ron Whitley of the University of Washington.  “And we don’t see a peak here. Our data suggests a slow increase in cases through the summer, and then a big peak in cases about November 4 or so.”

Next, we have an actual photograph of a restaurant window across for the Treasury Department, but, if we believe in truth in advertising, the reflected sign may as well be a banner hanging from all government buildings.

The moral of the story, needless to say, is that big government enables big corruption.

Here’s another amusing story from Babylon Bee.

Congress has asked all non-essential businesses to limit their hours or close entirely for an undetermined amount of time. But this shutdown mistakenly shut down the most non-essential entity of all: the government. …”Oops,” said Senator Mitch McConnell. “We meant non-essential private businesses. Of course, the government is always essential, even when it’s not doing anything or is making things worse.” Senators, congresspeople, and bureaucrats frantically rewrote the ban to include only businesses that actually produced something and not government agencies that just watched other people make stuff. …they passed this revision in record speed, almost as quickly as they vote for pay raises for themselves. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said she would have caught the mistake but had passed the ban in a hurry, saying, “We had to pass the ban to see what it did.”

Reminds me of some of the jokes from when we have a government shutdown.

I’ve saved my favorite image for last.

Here are the previous editions of coronavirus humor.

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Time for the 5th edition of coronavirus humor (previous versions here, here, here, and here).

Our first item is one that may me laugh out loud, perhaps because it also reminded me on another cameo appearance by Bill Clinton.

Next, we have Bernie Sanders celebrating America’s coronavirus-inspired experiment with socialism.

My friends on the left keep insisting that there’s a difference between socialism and democratic socialism. I guess that applies to coronavirus as well.

This cartoon is worth sharing. For what it’s worth, I actually prefer it when politicians hate each other rather than when they engage in “bipartisanship.”

Since most people actually over-pay during the year (thus giving the IRS an interest-free loan) because of withholding and get an annual refund, this next image isn’t actually accurate. But it’s still amusing.

Here’s a clever cartoon strip about Trump continuing his pattern of spending other people’s money.

I wrote a few days ago about some of the senseless enforcement actions of state and local governments. This Ron White meme would have been an ideal addition to that column.

Regarding the Constitution, I’ve mostly focused on how it is supposed to protect out economic liberty. But here’s a clever reminder it applies to other freedoms as well (even if it would be smart to minimize the exercise of some of those freedoms).

Here’s a meme that almost everyone will recognize, though it’s been modified to show how Nancy Pelosi is being mocked for caring more about her ultra-expensive ice cream than about small businesses.

Since almost everyone in Washington is an out-of-touch elitist, there are plenty of opportunities to mock Republicans as well.

 

No collection of humor is complete without at least one item from Babylon Bee.

In a candid speech Tuesday, President Xi Jinping stated he was “pretty impressed” by Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s handling of the coronavirus outbreak, specifically praising her totalitarian policies. …”She has some pretty great ideas — stopping people from gathering together even with their families, ordering people not to buy seeds — they can’t even plant their own food now! We hadn’t even thought of some of these innovative approaches,” the Communist president said. “We’re always looking for more ways to oppress people, and we were really inspired by Whitmer’s approach.” …Other dictators across the world also chimed in with words of support and affirmation for Whitmer’s policies, from North Korean ruler Kim Jong Un to Supreme Leader of Iran Ali Khamenei.

Politicians love to get people snitching on each other (see Andrew CuomoRichard Daley, and David Cameron), so this bit of satire is both amusing and accurate.

I think this next image might be an actual depiction of Dana Milbank.

Needless to say, this next image is a joke. But a funny one.

Vladimir Putin is infamous for his bare-chested horse riding, so I guess we shouldn’t be surprised somebody extended that to the coronavirus.

Since politicians are releasing criminals and announcing that they’re cutting back on law enforcement, there’s a serious point to this next bit of satire.

I’ve saved the best for last. This made me laugh, both because Trump probably would do this if he could get away with it, and because some people hate Trump so much that they would tick the box that gives them nothing.

I haven’t thought of anyone in the White House as “my president” since Ronald Reagan.

That being said, I’ll still cash my check. I’ll rationalize that choice by viewing it as return of stolen funds.

P.S. If you want some Trump-specific humor, I recommend this collection of maps and this collection of videos.

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A new tradition (which I hope is very temporary) is sharing coronavirus humor every weekend.

But not just random jokes about things like toilet paper hoarding. I’m only sharing humor that has some connection to politics or public policy.

We’ll start with Bernie Sanders, who says that the Venezuela-ish conditions in some grocery stores don’t qualify as “real socialism.”

Since I believe in targeting politicians from all parties, our next bit of satire involves Trump.

I’ve written in the past about the desirability of armed school teachers.

Well, that’s now what we have in this new era of home schooling.

I assume these next two quotes aren’t actually real, but the fact that they easily could be true is what makes this next item very amusing.

Let’s now look at an article from the Genesius Times.

A poll conducted by the Pew Pew Institute shows that a majority of Americans are unimpressed with their 30-day free trial of Communism. “It kinda sucks,” 19-year-old San Diegan Britta Fowler said of the trial. “I was expecting all this free stuff, which I guess we’re getting, but I also didn’t expect empty store shelves and house arrest for everyone. It’s really lame!” …“We thought we’d entice the people everywhere into Communist utopia with a trial run,” USBS Secretary John Lennon said. “We thought, hey, it works with Netflix, so it should work with Communism!” The federal government worked with the Chinese government and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to launch the coronavirus for the free trial kick-off. “Everything went well but only a few Karens across the country are really enjoying it.” Lennon added. “They really revel in telling people to ‘stay the f**k home!’”

Misogynistic readers may not appreciate this next item.

I thought about saving the following item for my collection of libertarian-themed humor. But since it involves coronavirus, it’s appropriate for today.

I debated whether this item qualifies, but I’m sharing it since my friends on the left are so fixated on gun control.

Next, we have a cameo appearance by Bill Clinton.

Here’s a story from the Babylon Bee, America’s premier site for satire.

When Jeffrey Walton tested positive for COVID-19, he hoped for a speedy recovery. But since he has been treated with hydroxychloroquine, the experimental treatment President Donald Trump has been touting, he now hopes he dies quickly to help prove that Trump is an idiot. …Walton, a lifelong Democrat and progressive, had joined in calling Trump “irresponsible” and an “ignoramus” and now has an opportunity to prove it by simply dying. “It’s such an opportunity, I don’t want to pass it up,” Walton said. …Dr. Logan has been warning Walton that there is a chance he could fully recover. Walton is trying to prepare himself for this — a world where everything isn’t black and white and Trump can be right about some things — but he insists he’d much rather die.

Here’s a tweet that deserves a chuckle or two.

Here’s an item that circulated on the email list of one of my softball teams.

One of my left-leaning teammates decided to edit the image and his version also is worth sharing.

This next bit of satire is actually rather depressing since it’s so accurate.

Since we’re getting plenty of reports that state and local governments are engaging in thuggish behavior to enforce stay-at-home orders (gee, what a surprise), this next bit of satire is very timely.

Our next item targets the Speaker of the House (though there is a potentially serious point to be made about the consequences of the statist policies she supports).

President Trump makes another appearance.

I’ve saved the best for last.

This crowd likes any excuse to buy votes with other people’s money.

P.S. Margaret Thatcher famously warned about what eventually happens with that approach.

P.P.S. If you like mockery of politicians, click here for many amusing examples.

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Say goodbye to “Crazy Bernie.” The socialist senator from Vermont has ended his bid for the Democratic nomination.

I have mixed feelings. Given his genuinely awful views about socialism, I’m glad there’s no risk Bernie Sanders will be in the White House next January.

On the other hand, he deserves credit for being honest about his agenda. And he was a wonderful source for satire and humor.

And that’s today’s topic.

We’ll start with some material about Bernie’s agenda and his campaign and then we’ll close with some jokes about his departure from the presidential race.

This one will only make sense if you’ve seen the 1989 comedy, Weekend at Bernie’s.

But Bernie was never just about free stuff.

He also had a soft spot for totalitarianism. Here’s a story published by the comedic geniuses at Babylon Bee before Bernie exited the race.

At a special campaign appearance abroad in Berlin, Bernie made waves with an ambitious new campaign promise to rebuild the Berlin Wall. …At the announcement, the crowd threw their soy lattes in the air and erupted in a rapturous chant of “Построить эту стену!” which is roughly translated as “build that wall!” Sanders looked out on a sea of hope-filled faces, giddy over the prospect of restoring the majestic landmark built by the German Democratic Republic. The cheering intensified as Bernie promised that not only will he build the wall, but that he will make Trump voters pay for it. …Current estimates say that construction of the wall will provide 2 million shovel-ready jobs and cost approximately 382 billion dollars per mile.

But who would fill those “2 million shovel-ready jobs”?

Not his supporters if this bit of satire is accurate.

As you can see from this image, his economic policies never made much sense.

The coronavirus crisis presumably didn’t help Crazy Bernie’s campaign.

The Babylon Bee reported that Bernie had a hard time maintaining social distancing.

Those suffering the most are American politicians, who have been having quite a bit of trouble staying six feet away from citizens’ wallets. Bernie Sanders was hardest hit by CDC guidelines, as he struggled to stay away from Americans’ wallets, purses, and checkbooks. “These guidelines are ridiculous!” he shouted while feeding pigeons at the park… “How am I supposed to steal money to buy another hou — err, I mean, to give some of it to the 99% — when I can’t even get within six feet of anyone? It’s impossible!” Sanders tried using a makeshift fishing rod, casting it out toward purses left on park benches and reeling it back in.

And the disease may have helped to end his campaign by reminding people what life would like like in a socialist paradise.

Needless to say, it was a poignant moment when the Vermont socialist broke the news to his most avid supporters.

Speaking of his many houses, the Babylon Bee has the scoop on Bernie’s real motive for leaving the race.

Democratic presidential primary candidate Bernie Sanders has dropped out, announcing he wants to spend time with his many, many houses. “It just seemed silly to spend all this time campaigning when I’m neglecting my many houses,” Sanders explained to his supporters. “I’ve made a huge profit pushing socialism and amassed much real estate, and it’s time I enjoy it.” …Now that Bernie Sanders has dropped out, he’s endorsed Donald Trump, whom he refers to as an “idol,” and says he hopes to buy many more houses so he can have a real estate empire just like Trump.

Though maybe the real reason he dropped out is that he’s actually achieved his goals.

The Babylon Bee has the details.

As the coronavirus panic has already accomplished the aims of his socialistic policies, Sanders realized the country didn’t need his public service anymore. Unemployment has skyrocketed, grocery stores have empty shelves, and everyone is confined to their homes on penalty of arrest. This “idyllic paradise” is exactly what Sanders wanted in the first place, so he says he can leave the race satisfied that his vision has been achieved. “This once-in-a-lifetime deadly pandemic has already accomplished what socialism aims to do,” Sanders said in his concession speech. “Since my services are no longer required, I will be suspending my campaign and heading to my house. Well, one of my houses. I haven’t decided which yet. …Sanders also pointed out that his other main goals of hyperinflation and total dependence on the government are already on their way.

Which is also the message of this final addition to our collection of Bernie humor.

P.S. If you haven’t overdosed on Bernie humor, here are some prior columns focusing exclusively on that topic.

And we also have some one-off examples of Bernie humor:

We will miss mocking Bernie. Fortunately, his replacement already exists.

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Until the crisis is over, I plan on sharing coronavirus-themed humor every weekend (previous versions here and here).

We’ll start with a meme that actually does a very good job of capturing the reaction when economists explain that there’s a tradeoff between economic damage and lives saved.

The Remy video at the bottom of this column is even better, if you like satire about saving lives.

Speaking of satire, the Babylon Bee has supplanted the Onion as the go-to site for clever humor.

This story about politicians saving the lives of government programs is a good example of why that’s happened.

America’s heroic lawmakers have managed to come together and pass a stimulus package to save the world from the effects of the coronavirus. A grateful country full of very stimulated Americans is applauding the lifesaving efforts of Congress. Already, experts are predicting the stimulus package will save the lives of at least 85,000 government programs. …”We believe that every government program’s life is infinitely precious and is made in the image of its lobbyist,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “We know that if spending two trillion dollars saves the life of at least one beautiful and valuable government program, it is worth it.” …Thanks to the leadership of Washington, Americans everywhere are learning to appreciate the infinite worth of every lawmaker’s pet project. Experts believe this may mean a greater cultural shift toward a country that deeply respects life (of government programs.)

Here’s an amusing image based on the utterly inane fight over the name of the virus.

There have been plenty of clever memes involving toilet paper in recent weeks, but I’m only sharing examples that somehow intersect with public policy.

This is the first example – given the libertarian interest in cryptocurrency – that satisfies that requirement.

We’ll close with my two favorite selections for today.

First, we have another story from Babylon Bee, this one focusing on New York’s reflexive answer for just about everything.

New York state has announced a new plan to raise taxes on the novel coronavirus. The 15% income tax on all COVID-19 viruses, coupled with an 8% luxury disease tax, is expected to generate significant revenue and stop the virus in its tracks. …”We thought about all the different ways to solve problems that we know of, and we just returned to the tried-and-true method: taxing something until it runs away,” said Governor Andrew Cuomo. “This new legislation will cause the virus to run away and go to those dumb, backward Southern states not smart enough to have a special coronavirus tax.” …The plan seemed to work almost immediately, with coronaviruses packing up their bags, renting U-Hauls, and moving to better states like Texas. Texas has unveiled its own plan to stop the bug, however, shooting the virus with fully automatic weapons on sight.

The last sentence reminds me of other jokes involving Texans and firearms (here, here, here, and here).

Our last item for today is this image, showing ever-greater threats, from my Liberland friends.

The image is amusing, but there’s presumably a non-trivial threat that politicians will grab more power as a result of the crisis and permanently expand the burden of government.

That will mean lots of suffering and hardship, but the silver lining to that dark cloud is that we’ll surely get plenty of new material to add to my collection.

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I shared an initial collection of coronavirus-themed humor last weekend.

Here’s a second round, though you’ll notice that I’m actually mocking politicians (a long-standing tradition) and simply using the coronavirus as an excuse.

Remember Andrew Yang, the guy who ran for president promising every American a monthly check (a.k.a., universal basic income)? Well, somebody has cleverly illustrated how Republicans have suddenly embraced a version of that idea.

Next, I’ve written that the so-called gender pay gap disappears once you account for differences in age, occupations, and hours worked.

Some guy decided to use that myth to seek sympathy.

As you might expect, the superb satirists at Babylon Bee have weighed in about the virus.

Here’s a recent “story” from their site.

As part of a sweeping initiative to help unclog the economic constipation caused by the coronavirus quarantine, the White House announced they are printing out fresh, crisp dollar bills for every US citizen. …The administration explained that, while it’s possible the money might help get things flowing again for people who are in need of a strong push financially, the more practical use will be for those who have run out of toilet paper: “As the economic stoppage causes the dollar’s value to take a dump, we see this as a great alternative to increasingly scarce toilet paper.” …Some remain critical of the action, saying it doesn’t go far enough. Bernie Sanders, who is adorably still in the running for the Democratic presidential nomination, stated, “This will only last us a couple of weeks. We need to print billions in crisp singles for every American if we’re truly going to wipe up this mess!”

Our next addition to the collection was sent to me by a reader who obviously appreciates the irony of Mexico (a would-be libertarian paradise) not wanting potentially infected Americans.

Lots of people are having silly fights about what to call the virus, depending on their views about China.

Here’s some humor related to that issue.

For what it’s worth, I’m skeptical about China’s claims to have eradicated the disease (just like I’m skeptical of the country’s official economic data).

I’ve saved the best for last.

Almost everyone I know, regardless of what score they get on an ideological quiz, enjoys mocking Hillary Clinton (and with good reason!).

Well, she can cure the coronavirus.

Ouch. That’s definitely worth adding to my other examples of Hillary satire.

P.S. If you prefer mocking Bill Clinton, you can enjoy my favorites by clicking herehere, here, here, here, and here.

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I’ve addressed the public-policy implications of the coronavirus, both in general and looking at a couple of specific issues.

Now it’s time for some Gallows Humor about the disease.

We’ll start with this item that’s related to Wednesday’s column about gun ownership and the potential breakdown of civil order.

For what it’s worth, there’s been a significant increase in the percentage of people citing societal breakdown as a reason to support the 2nd Amendment.

I wrote last year about how more than 2 million children are being home-schooled.

That number has skyrocketed with schools being closed, which is giving libertarians an opportunity to pass on important messages to their kids.

I should probably add this to my collection of libertarian humor.

And if you like humor about home-schooling, you’ll enjoy this video.

Next we have a clever meme that a reader sent to me.

This is only the second time that Greta has appeared on this site, which is surprising.

I wrote about potential economic-policy responses to the coronavirus earlier this week.

Here’s a meme about Republicans and Democrats dealing with cognitive dissonance.

Speaking of cognitive dissonance, a lefty friend sent me this very clever bit of Trump-Bernie humor.

Left-leaning readers will also appreciate this and this.

Let’s close with two items that belong in my collection of socialism/communism humor.

It seems we have a second reason to close colleges.

I favor a different approach if we want to cure young people of their infatuation with socialism, but any port in a storm.

Last but not least, there’s a very good solution if you’re running out of toilet paper.

I’m sure Karl won’t mind (though some people at the European Commission will be offended).

If there’s a shortage of this option, I also recommend all ghost-written books from politicians as well as Thomas Piketty’s errorriddled screed, Capital in the 21st Century.

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In recent weeks, I’ve mocked socialism, both as a general concept and as the ideology of Crazy Bernie.

Today, let’s focus on communism, which is socialism’s authoritarian cousin.

We’ll start with an unusual article from Babylon Bee, a must-read satire site. There’s nothing but a headline and an image.

Though this story is only partly satire.

Given the staggering death toll of communism (a body count somewhere between the Spanish Flu and the Black Death), it is far deadlier than the coronavirus.

Readers in the boomer demographic doubtlessly remember the Beatles. After the band broke up, John Lennon had several solo hits, including Imagine, which became an anthem for some leftists in part because it included the line, “Imagine no possessions.”

The clever folks at Babylon Bee have revised the lyrics in the interests of accuracy.

Have you ever tried to imagine living in a perfect world ruled by communism, but previously only received the information from catchy folk songs which praise the system? Well, lucky for you, it is now easier than ever to understand what a full-blown communist utopia actually looks like. …”Imagine” has been rereleased with more realistic lyrics to reflect the harsh realities of communism. Lennon, long dead—though not by way of communism, since he was blessed to live in a capitalist country—would be proud of the change… While the classic folk song does do a fantastic job of laying out the basics of communism—no religion, no possessions, no food—it never invites the listener to imagine all the people in their true form, which is dead—usually by firing squad, but often by way of starvation as well.

Here are some of the updated lyrics.

Since we just traveled back to the 1970s, let stay in that decade by sharing a sketch from Monty Python.

Last but not least, here’s the utopian vision of communism (embraced by 36% of millennials) compared to the grim reality of communism.

P.S. Apologists for Marxism routinely try to dodge accountability by claiming all the real-world examples “weren’t real communism.” Which creates additional opportunities for satire.

P.P.S. Like modern leftists who talk one way and live another way, John Lennon did not put his money where his mouth was. He preached leftism while enjoying a life of luxury thanks to personal earnings of several hundred million dollars.

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