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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

My collection of “Libertarian Humor” is very ecumenical since I have “pro” jokes and “con” jokes.

Today, we’re going to add to the latter collection with three new items.

We’ll start with some satire about the theoretical Libertarian Party vs the real-world Libertarian Party. I get the feeling the guy on the right is an older version of Libertarian Doofus 1 or Libertarian Doofus 2.

Maybe this means we have to create a new type of libertarian. After all, the guy on the right doesn’t fit any of the 24 categories in this collection. Well, maybe three rows down and second from the right, but I don’t want to be judgemental.

For our second item, here’s some great satire from Babylon Bee about a libertarian driver’s heroic effort to avoid government-funded roads.

In a calculated move intended to demonstrate the power of the free market, libertarian man Patrick Wallace drove his SUV through dozens of other peoples’ back yards, across several open fields, over a stretch of rocky terrain, and even off a cliff into a small ravine in order to avoid using any government-funded roads, sources confirmed Thursday. According to witnesses, the man got into his vehicle to head to work, started it up, and immediately barreled across his lawn, down his neighbor’s side yard, through a row of back yards, and right into an adjacent wood, all while carefully preventing his tires from ever touching any road built by tax dollars. “What would we do without roads funded by government coercion? That’s easy,” the man told reporters later as he attempted to push his car out of a creek. “We’d be able to drive straight to work through any obstacles we wanted, without the state telling us we’re not allowed to launch over a gully to get to the office on time.” …After getting his car moving again, Wallace reportedly hurtled down the brook, across a steep ski slope, and burst through a cemetery, waving at the groundskeeper to get out of the way, before launching off a homemade ramp over a county road to his office. At publishing time, Wallace had fashioned a rope swing at the office in order to help him get to the Dunkin’ Donuts across the street without walking on “roads funded by theft.”

Reminds me of the libertarian police officer who tried to chase a criminal without stepping on government sidewalks.

Another example of why it ain’t easy being libertarian. We need a Nirvana where all infrastructure is private!

Lastly, we have an observation about the ongoing challenge of trying to stop statism.

There’s a lot of truth to this image. Most libertarians in the real world don’t worry too much about theory. They just want more freedom.

But in the world of professional libertarians, there are sectarian fights between Randians, Austrians, anarcho-capitalists, Rothbardians, liberaltarians, and many other niche groups. And they oftentimes don’t get along with each other.

No wonder we have a hard time getting others to agree with our agenda.

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After the horrific school shooting in Parkland, Florida, I explained that the gun-control policies being pushed by left-leaning students such as David Hogg would be utterly ineffective at deterring evil people.

But give the kid credit. He’s fully exploiting his 15 minutes of fame (in a way that makes Sandra Fluke look like an amateur).

His latest idea is to somehow boycott financial firms that do business with gun manufacturers.

Dana Loesch asked me to appear on her show to discuss the economics of this issue. It’s a Skype interview, so the quality on my end leaves something to be desired, but I hopefully got across my main point that boycotts only work if consumers change their buying patterns. And, to be blunt, David Hogg is not going to change the minds of people who appreciate the 2nd Amendment.

I also explained that Hogg’s proposed boycott is a private version of Obama’s reprehensible Operation Chokepoint.

Except it won’t work because Hogg’s hyperbole isn’t nearly as effective as the coercive power of government.

Indeed, Hogg is far more likely to increase gun sales, which is the point of this bit of satire.

Though I don’t want to imply that the leftist students from Parkland, Florida, have been completely ineffective.

They demanded change. And the school gave it to them in the form of a preposterous requirement for see-through backpacks. Here are some details from a CNN story.

Survivors of a school shooting in Parkland, Florida, returned from spring break Monday to new security measures that some students said made them feel like they were in prison. Marjory Stoneman Douglas students encountered security barriers and bag check lines as they entered campus Monday morning. Inside the school, administrators handed out the students’ newest mandatory accessories: a see-through backpack much like the ones required at some stadiums and arenas… Now, with the bags, they’re sacrificing their privacy for what he and others consider an ineffective security measure.

Of course these clear backpacks are a joke.

But, as illustrated by this bit of satire, it’s rather naive to expect good results when you ask for more government.

And since students such as Hogg make a big deal about “assault rifles” that are functionally the same as other rifles, it’s poetic justice that he’s now being deprived of an “assault backpack.”

But why stop there?

Surely we don’t want to run the risk of a student hiding a gun under their clothes. We need to ban “assault clothing”!

But David Hogg isn’t meekly acquiescing to see-through backpacks. At least according to this final bit of satire.

Ouch. I thought some of the anti-Fluke humor was hard hitting, but both “hold my sippy cup” and “from my damp soft hands” are rather brutal.

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When trying to convince someone about the downsides of socialism, I generally make a practical argument. I point out that socialism has universally failed, whether looking at totalitarian versions in places such as North Korea and Cuba or democratic versions in places such as Venezuela and Greece.

Simply stated, the particular strain of socialism doesn’t make a difference. At the end of the day, the greater the level of statism, the greater the level of economic damage.

But our friends on the left aren’t discouraged. Indeed, the support for cranks like Bernie Sanders and Jeremy Corbyn is a sign that socialist policies still have appeal to some people.

Writing for CapX, Kristian Niemietz of London’s Institute for Economic Affairs contemplates the resurgence of socialism. He starts by citing examples of pro-socialist writings.

Opinion pieces which tell us to stop obsessing over socialism’s past failures…have almost become a genre… Nathan Robinson, the editor of Current Affairs, wrote…that socialism has not “failed”. It has just never been done properly… Closer to home, Owen Jones wrote that Cuba’s current version of socialism was not “real” socialism… And Washington Post columnist Elizabeth Bruenig wrote an article with the self-explanatory title ‘It’s time to give socialism a try’.

Kristian provides three reasons why the we’ll-do-better-next-time theory of socialism is very impractical.

…articles in this genre share a number of common flaws. First, as much as the authors insist that previous examples of socialism were not “really” socialist, none of them can tell us what exactly they would do differently. …Secondly, the authors do not seem to realise that there is nothing remotely new about the lofty aspirations they talk about, and the buzzphrases they use. Giving “the people” democratic control over economic life has always been the aspiration, and the promise, of socialism. …Thirdly, contemporary socialists completely fail to address the deficiencies of socialism in the economic sphere. They talk a lot about how their version of socialism would be democratic, participatory, non-authoritarian, nice and cuddly. Suppose they could…magically make that work. What then? They would then be able to avoid the Gulags, the show trials and the secret police… But we would still be left with a dysfunctional economy.

Amen to the last point.

I wrote last year that Marxist socialism is disgusting and brutal compared to liberal socialism, but both versions lead to economic malaise.

Which leads to the conclusion of Kristian’s column.

Ultimately, the contemporary argument for socialism boils down to: “next time will be different, because we say so.” After more than two dozen failed attempts, that is just not good enough.

Of course, some people instinctively knew that socialism was a pre-determined recipe for failure. Here’s the great Winston Churchill speaking about statism shortly after World War II.

Spot on. You can’t control an economy without controlling people.

And here’s another voice from the past, courtesy of Reddit‘s libertarian page.

And here’s Mr. Rogers imagining a fantasy world where socialism might work.

Last but not least, let’s close with this gem from Reddit‘s Libertarian Meme page.

Though when you think about people starving to death in places like Venezuela and North Korea, I suppose we shouldn’t laugh too much.

P.S. Other examples of socialism humor can be enjoyed here, here, and here.

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It’s time to augment the satirical columns about gun control that I shared in February and March.

Let’s start with a very useful set of definitions, sort of like this Republican-to-English dictionary, for anyone who follows what the establishment media writes about gun control.

By the way, I don’t blame many columnists and reporters fro being unfamiliar with guns. My knowledge also is rather limited.

But shouldn’t they do a bit of research before spouting off on the topic? Heck, just read this Larry Correia column. They don’t have to agree with him, but at least they should know the basics.

Our next item is from Reddit‘s Libertarian Meme page. It’s sort of a combination of this real sign and this satirical video. But it sadly captures the left’s mentality.

Speaking of the left-wing mentality on the issue of guns, I wonder how many of them would volunteer to be philosophically consistent and take this step to fight rape?

If they think full amputation is too much, perhaps they can follow the advice in the image at the bottom of this post.

This next gem is basically the Twitter version of my column last month on the 2nd Amendment, addressing the fact that most advocates of gun control, if you press them on the issue, really do want to confiscate all guns and eviscerate part of the Bill of Rights.

Last but not least, we have an expanded version of the anti-rape image from above.

The line about drunk drivers is nicely captured by the bottom image in this column.

I also can’t resist also calling attention to the bottom image in this column. It’s perfect for your lefty friends who argue that “assault weapons” aren’t covered by the 2nd Amendment.

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I shared some satire about gun control last month, but the left’s campaign to exploit the horrible Parkland shooting seems to have instigated a bunch of new material.

So let’s have some weekend fun.

We’ll start with this humorous image from Reddit‘s libertarian page that actually does a good job of showing that gun control is pointless because criminals don’t care about laws.

This next image, also from Reddit, resonates with me because I’ve had many conversations with leftists who genuinely think a “semi-automatic rifle” is the same as a machine gun.

Or that “assault weapons” are somehow more lethal hunting rifles.

Though the gun-control crowd doesn’t seem to care even when you point out that their talking points are nonsense.

This next image arrived in my inbox a few days ago. I imagine the women calling the cops also failed this IQ test.

Next we have an apparently genuine sign from one of the student protests against civil liberties. Astoundingly, this girl doesn’t realize that she has everything wrong. The White House is filled with armed personnel and her school is the gun-free zone.

And we know from this cartoon whether bad people prefer unarmed victims. I guess we’ll call the student Exhibit A in the case against government-run schools.

This next item isn’t humorous, but I’m including it solely because I hope it’s a true story rather than an urban legend. If anybody knows, please share details in the comments section.

I like this next item because libertarians seem to be the only ones who value both the 1st Amendment and 2nd Amendment.

Given how California has drifted so far to the left, this next joke my turn into reality at some point. Well, even they’re not that foolish, but I can’t help but hope it might happen.

Last but not least, this item from Reddit‘s libertarian page does make me wonder about my left-wing friends. They despise Trump, yet they want to citizens to be disarmed.

Wow. Reminds me of this image.

P.S. You can still cast a vote in the online poll to identify the most important reason to defend the Second Amendment.

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I sometimes feel guilty when I mock communism. Should I really be joking about an ideology that directly or indirectly caused 100 million deaths? Are laughs appropriate when there is ongoing torture, abuse, and starvation in communist hellholes such as North Korea and Cuba?

Seems on the same level as cracking jokes about the holocaust.

But I think there’s a difference. Adolf Hitler’s National Socialist Workers Party is gone and every single educated and civilized person agrees we never want something similar to reemerge.

By contrast, there are still modern-day Marxists. They’re in the Antifa movement. There are Marxist professors with tenure on college campuses. I certainly don’t think it’s a dominant ideology on the left, but there are far too many Marxists and Marxist apologists.

Indeed, this is why I think there’s a big difference between liberal socialism and Marxist socialism.

Anyhow, I’ll continue to share anti-communism humor for the simple reason that we still need to discourage this evil ideology from gaining more adherents. And since people don’t like to be mocked and ridiculed, it’s good to use humor to make Marxism toxic.

We have three items today, starting with some very clever Twitter satire.

The millions of people who starved to death under Mao’s reign in China and during the oppression of the Ukraine certainly wouldn’t laugh at this joke, but I found it amusing.

Next, we have one of Fidel’s chief butchers. Vapid college kids may put Che Guevara on a t-shirt, but the rest of us should put his image in urinals.

I’ve saved the best for the last.

Here’s the communist version of monopoly, featuring many chances to go the gulag. But if you’re lucky, you get food rations!

My only quibble is that “pay luxury tax” is a real thing in the real Monopoly. Certainly seem that it also belongs in the commie version.

P.S. Previous collections of ant-communism mockery can be found here, here, and here.

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I like to share examples of political/policy humor, including self-deprecating jokes that poke fun at libertarians (we may be dorky, but at least we don’t want to control your life!).

But I have a challenge. When sharing jokes that make mock leftist economics, I have to decide whether something is socialist humor, communist humor, or generic anti-leftist or anti-Democrat humor. And that’s sometimes not easy because the technical definition of socialism (government ownership of the means of production) makes it very similar to communism, but the man-on-the-street definition of socialism (a big welfare state) makes it very similar to Obamanomics or Clintonomics (Hillary, not Bill).

Well, whoever put this together wants us to believe that there’s no difference between Democrats and socialists, which is arguable (as Debbie Wasserman-Schultz will agree). But I think the part about the difference between socialism and communism is very clever.

Kudos to whoever created this. I wrote an entire column on the difference between liberal socialism and Marxist socialism, but this gets across the same point much more succinctly.

Moving on, I’m convinced that many of my leftist friends support bad policy because they have the mistaken view that the economy is a fixed pie. And when they start with that inaccurate assumption, they naturally think that a rich person’s wealth means poverty for others.

And that’s reflected in this comparison.

By the way, some people do get expensive houses under socialism, and you can probably guess which ones.

Our next image wins the prize for subtle humor.

Though I’m guessing Bernie didn’t laugh at this practical application of his philosophy.

Next, from Reddit’s libertarian page, here’s an image that mocks the endless failure of statist economics. Yes, I realize that Venezuelan statism and North Korean statism aren’t the same (and that Ukraine is a failed kleptocracy more than anything else), but the broad point about the failure of big government makes this meme worth sharing.

And since we’re on the topic of how big government fails everyplace where it’s tried, let’s conclude today with a video that was turned into humor by the addition of a five-word caption.

At the risk of injecting some serious discussion into today’s column, allow me to preemptively address the leftist argument that Scandinavian nations show that socialism can work.

  • In global ranking of economic liberty, Nordic nations score relatively high, with Denmark and Finland in the top 20.
  • Scandinavian nations have large welfare states, but otherwise have very laissez-faire economic policies.
  • Nordic nations got rich when government was small, but growth has slowed since welfare states were imposed.

P.S. If you want even more socialism humor, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

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