You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
______________________________________________________________________________
Liberal’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
+ Does the man look poor or oppressed?
+ Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
+ Could we run away?
+ What does my wife think? What about the kids?
+ Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
+ What does the law say about this situation?
+ Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
+ Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
+ Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me?
+ If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
______________________________________________________________________________
Conservative’s Answer:
BANG!
______________________________________________________________________________
Texan’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click (sounds of reloading).
Wife: “Sweetheart, he looks like he’s still moving. What do you kids think?”
Son: “Mom’s right Dad, I saw it too…”
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?”
International Liberty 
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] If you want more humor about guns and Texans, click here, here, […]
[…] If you want more humor about guns and Texans, click here, here, and […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] https://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/the-difference-between-liberals-conservatives-and-t… […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] And since we’re having some fun with our liberal friends, let’s close with this comparison of liberals, conservatives, and Texans. […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] P.S. Speaking of jokes, here’s an amusing comparison of Texas and California. If you want some California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon is great. And to maintain balance, here’s a Texas-specific joke on how to respond to an attacker. […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] Next, we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and internationally. […]
[…] we know that Texans have a gun-loving reputation, both nationally and […]
[…] me of the difference between liberals, conservatives, and […]
[…] P.P.P.P.S. Here’s a humorous look at the difference between conservatives, liberals, and Texans. […]
[…] Texas is different than other states. And other continents as […]
[…] The last sentence reminds me of other jokes involving Texans and firearms (here, here, here, and here). […]
[…] joked before about Texans and guns, but we have a real-world case of how lives are saved. And what happened over […]
clear leather… shooter’s stance… double tap… center of mass…
the objective is to stop the fight… not to kill anyone…
Having re-read this a few years after I first saw it, I notice a mistake. There’s no way any Texan would be caught with a gun that only carried 9 rounds. (I counted the bangs) Perhaps 6- if it was a revolver, but once you revealed that it had more than six shots, then it had to be a semi-auto, and ten shot clips are the bane of California and New York. And even the mini-nines have only 7 rounds usually. In fact, I’m trying to reach into my memory to think of any gun that carries 9. The fact that it clicked after 9 twice says it holds only that much. Or, perhaps the guy was carrying two partially loaded clips? Nah- no Texan would do that either.
[…] close by sharing some regional gun-control humor featuring Texas, California, Europe, and […]
[…] to the main issue of today’s column. In the past, I’ve joked about gun-loving Texans (the difference between conservatives, liberals, and Texans, the Texas v. Europe approach to fighting terrorism, and Texas, California, and the coyote), but […]
[…] the main issue of today’s column. In the past, I’ve joked about gun-loving Texans (the difference between conservatives, liberals, and Texans, the Texas v. Europe approach to fighting terrorism, and Texas, California, and the coyote), but […]
[…] But I’ll close on an upbeat note by sharing my collection of Texas-themed humor: Here, here, here, […]
[…] But I’ll close on an upbeat not by sharing my collection of Texas-themed humor: Here, here, here, and […]
[…] let’s switch to a short video about shopping in Texas. Sort of reminiscent of this joke about the difference between conservatives, liberals, and […]
I note that the Texan in question got off eight rounds before reloading, the implication being that he was carrying hot and had already fired off seven rounds somewhere else. Over in Cali, we’re jealous since we can only carry 10 round mags…
By “Glock 40” did you mean the *Model* 40, which is chambered for 10mm Auto? Because…. holy shit, that’s a big gun to be carrying around.
I will totally do that when Florida gets OC, or when I move, though.
[…] https://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/the-difference-between-liberals-conservatives-and-t… […]
[…] https://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/the-difference-between-liberals-conservatives-and-t… […]
Shoot him again. His soul is still dancing.
[…] for a left-wing journalist (presumably an urban legend, but still funny). And here a post on the difference between conservatives, liberals, and Texans. Last but not least, I hope these are the virgins waiting in paradise to greet the […]
[…] P.S. Speaking of jokes, here’s an amusing comparison of Texas and California. If you want some California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon is great. And to maintain balance, here’s a Texas-specific joke on how to respond to an attacker. […]
[…] a good example. And here’s a video showing how leftists think about guns. Folks will also enjoy this comparison of how guns are viewed by liberals, conservatives, and Texans. And I think we can all agree that […]
[…] good example. And here’s a video showing how leftists think about guns. Folks will also enjoy this comparison of how guns are viewed by liberals, conservatives, and Texans. And I think we can all agree that […]
[…] good example. And here’s a video showing how leftists think about guns. Folks will also enjoy this comparison of how guns are viewed by liberals, conservatives, and Texans. And I think we can all agree that […]
[…] By the way, my all-time favorite gun joke is the one explaining the difference between liberals, conservatives, and Texans. […]
[…] And since we’re having some fun with our liberal friends, let’s close with this comparison of liberals, conservatives, and Texans. […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] By the way, my all-time favorite gun joke is the one explaining the difference between liberals, conservatives, and Texans. […]
[…] By the way, my all-time favorite gun joke is the one explaining the difference between liberals, conservatives, and Texans. […]
[…] P.S. Speaking of jokes, here’s an amusing comparison of Texas and California. If you want some California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon is great. And to maintain balance, here’s a Texas-specific joke on how to respond to an attacker. […]
[…] P.S. Speaking of jokes, here’s an amusing comparison of Texas and California. If you want some California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon is great. And to maintain balance, here’s a Texas-specific joke on how to respond to an attacker. […]
I love thosr answe rs. Hahaha.
Im from california my answrr would be
KBlAM!
Receive from a Friend in AZ:
“Why is it the folks who steal guns then go and kill movie goers and children in school have never been conservative NRA members?
Ft Hood Shooter – Registered Democrat- Muslim
Columbine Shooters – Too young to vote- both families were registered Democrats and progressive liberals
Virginia Tech Shooter – Wrote hate mail to President Bush and to his staff, registered Democrat
Colorado Theater Shooter – Registered Democrat, staff worker on the Obama campaign, occupy wall street participant, progressive liberal
Connecticut School Shooter- Registered Democrat, hated Christians,
The common thread is that all of these shooters were progressive liberal Democrats.
Interesting…isn’t it?”
my opinion:
Yes it is both interesting and disturbing that the ‘Progressive-Liberal-Democrats” support such “Acts of Premeditated Criminal Intent” by advocating Laws to disarm the intended victims without deterring those of Criminal Intent.
Now that is funny. I must have been born in Texas.
This is sooo good!
My wife would ‘a said, “Honey… you kill it, you clean it! And don’t leave anything for the dogs to make a mess in the yard with.”
Anything more than a triple tap is wasted ammo.
(Says the conservative who grew up in Alabama.)
[…] And since we’re having some fun with our liberal friends, let’s close with this comparison of liberals, conservatives, and Texans. […]
[…] And since we’re having some fun with our liberal friends, let’s close with this comparison of liberals, conservatives, and Texans. […]
[…] amusing. If you want some Texas-specific humor, this police exam is amusing and you’ll enjoy this joke about the difference between Texans, liberals and conservatives. And if you want California-specific humor, this Chuck Asay cartoon hits the nail on the […]
[…] of liberals and conservatives. As you can see, it’s sort of what you get when you mix this joke with this […]
Hmmm. There are a few problems with the description of the scenario. First, the beginning should read
“Leftwing Statist’s Answer”,
for leftists aren’t liberals. Likewise, it should read “Rightwing Statist’s Answer” where now it reads “Conservative’s Answer”. Other possible readings are “Leftwing Illiberal’s Answer” and “Rightwing Illiberal’s Answer”.
Now, it just so happened that there was a libertarian looking on the scene from the window of his apartment. He saw fit to make a few remarks about the event, so we have also a
“Liberal’s Answer:
Good grief. Why 18 shots?? The aggressor was thoroughly subdued before being executed, and it would have been nice to chat with him before he lost consciousness. In fact, maybe he was at long last amenable to correction and conversion. Oh, well. I might have been shot by the Texans just for approaching the fellow, and he had for a long time been a punk who aided and abetted not only local street gangs but also the Democrats and the Republicans. He was expecting to collect veterans’ benefits, too. The event appears to confirm the hypothesis that there is a cosmic law of desert.
Now, what does the cosmos have in store for those foolish, trigger-happy Texans? How about a separatist movement which undermines confidence in a favorite superstition, too? After my meditation session I shall have tea with a few acquaintances to investigate the possibility that my hunch is correct. They are acquinted with the probable falsity of presentism, and it seems that they have little dust in their eyes.”
If he worked for Auto Zoner he would be fired.
http://patriotoutdoornews.com/4427/autozone-fires-worker-who-stopped-robbery
Reblogged this on Gds44's Blog.
[…] The extra flash at the end is a nice touch. Sort of reminds me of this joke about the difference between conservatives, liberals, and Texans. […]
[…] since this post is about Texans and the second amendment, this bit of humor is always popular. As is this example of a Texas police exam and this story of Texas, California, and a […]
Stupid hypothetical situation with ignorant responses…
A Texan carrying a Glock?—whatever happened to buy American?
[…] among conservatives, libertarians, and liberals, let’s close with a humorous look at the difference between conservatives, liberals, and Texans. In the same vein, here’s a joke about the difference between Californians and folks from […]
Very true. Liberals always over-analyze things.
[…] P.S. If you want a less serious look at the differences between various groups, here’s a funny post on the differences between liberals, conservatives, and Texans. […]
“Ridiculous. No way the guy is still moving after a Texan fires nine rounds.”
especially with silvertips o.o
Well I’m Californian and I make sure neither my brass nor magazines have any fingerprints on them before they, er, “leave the house.”
Ridiculous. No way the guy is still moving after a Texan fires nine rounds.
My idea of good shooting. Giving the perp an acute case of lead poison!
[…] most recently this amusing comparison of southern Californians with real Americans. And this review of the differences between liberals, conservatives, and Texans also is worth […]
I carry a knife, and a 45 on me at all times. I carry a machete and a 44 Mag in my truck, i have a 12 gauge, AR 15, AR10, and my 45 (night stand) in my bed room, and a double barrel in my living room. If you break into my house, may God have mercy on your soul. Alabama
I WOULD NOT LET HIM SAY A WORD AS HE WOULD BE FULL OF LEAD BE FORE HE MADE A STEP. ARKANSAS
[…] Here’s a joke I got from a friend in Alabama. It’s somewhat similar to this gem about the difference between conservatives, liberals, and Texans. […]
Being Texan It should be the husband, the wife, and the kids!
Being a Texan, I submit that the wife would also pull her weapon and fire on the perp as well as her husband.
First, that’s why I left San Francisco, Second, What’s a Texan doing with just one gun?
How terrible is THAT to consider. Are you truly stating that the man…can’t call Dems men..had a RIGHT to protect his family and himself? From some poor, miserable thug? You just better hope the Obamapolice (? Soros/Bloomberg police) don’t hear of it. Such a right will not exist for much longer if they do! Thank heavens I live in Florida where the same right is afforded to us….well, until Scott capitulates to the Washington “Out-of-touchers”
[…] Here’s a joke I got from a friend in Alabama. It’s somewhat similar to this gem about the difference between conservatives, liberals, and Texans. […]
Another version of this has the texas wife saying “you are not mounting it on the wall”