The No-Tax-Hike Pledge Is an IQ Test for Republicans

Eugene Robinson is one of the group-think columnists at the Washington Post. Like E.J. Dionne, he is an utterly predictable proponent of big government. So it won’t surprise you to know that he wants taxes to go up and he’s a big fan of Obama’s class-warfare agenda.

He’s also a very partisan Democrat and wants the GOP to lose. Again, that’s not exactly a stunning revelation.

So when someone like Eugene Robinson starts offering advice to the Republican Party about tax policy, a logical person instantly should be suspicious that he’s actually trying to advance his own ideological and partisan agenda.

An obvious analogy would be me giving the Alabama coaches some advice as they prepare to play my beloved Georgia Bulldogs on Saturday night (“hey, Coach Saban, you should have your quarterback play like he’s left-handed…that surely will surprise the Georgia defense…oh, and have your secondary and D-lineman trade places…I’m serious, that would be a brilliant strategy…I only want what’s best for you guys”).

In this spirit, Mr. Robinson wants the GOP to abandon the no-tax-hike pledge.

…we’re seeing the first signs in years that on the question of taxation — one of the fundamental responsibilities of government — the GOP may be starting to recover its senses. …the anti-tax pledge never made a bit of sense. …Grover Norquist…has dangerously loopy ideas about the proper size and scope of government. …Republicans who signed the pledge — and who now find themselves in a box — have only themselves to blame. …They pretended it was possible to provide the services that Americans need and want without collecting sufficient revenue.

In other words, a columnist who wants bigger government and a stronger Democratic Party is telling Republicans to raise taxes.

And he’s not alone. Some Democrats have openly admitted that their top political goal is suckering Republicans into a tax hike.

So if you’re a Republican, there are two possible reactions to Robinson’s column.

“Where’s Bob Dole when we need him?”

1. “Gee, Eugene is a swell guy to offer this advice. He really cares about my best interests, so I’m going to tell Grover to get lost and then I’m going to vote to give my opponents more money so they can create more dependency and make it harder for me to win future elections! I bet Chris Matthews will praise me for being a statesman.”

2. “Hmmm, let’s think about this. My opponent wants me to do X and I can see how doing X will be good from his perspective. Since my IQ is above room temperature, I’m going to explore doing Y or Z instead.”

For most of us, the answer is obvious. But, then again, there’s a reason the GOP is known as the “Stupid Party,” which is why the modified cartoon in this post showing Charlie Brown, Lucy, and a football is so appropriate.

“The DC cesspool isn’t bad once you get used to it”

But that’s not completely fair. Some Republican do the wrong thing with full knowledge and forethought. These are the politicians who perhaps came to Washington many years ago thinking it was a cesspool, but they’ve since learned to work the system and now they think it’s a hot tub.

P.S. This post is based on real-world analysis. Yes, there are hypothetical scenarios where even I would agree to a tax hike, but they’re about as realistic as the possibility of me throwing five touchdown passes for the Bulldogs on Saturday (hey, I have still have four years of eligibility!).

P.S.S. Here’s another example of a Washington Post columnist offering self-help suicide advice to the GOP.