This used to irk me because I’m a policy wonk and I bizarrely hope to turn the rest of the world into libertarian wonks as well.
So with that in mind, let’s enjoy the latest jokes.
- President Obama was heckled by a protester who called him “the Antichrist.” The protester was detained, but released without being charged, and then later he was offered his own show on Fox News.
- Obama says his new jobs bill will be more successful than his last jobs bill. Let’s not set that bar too high.
- President Obama’s hometown newspaper, the Chicago Tribune, has called on Obama not to run for re-election. He has to run. He knows there are no other jobs out there.
- The Solyndra executives are scheduled to testify before Congress, and they’re expected to take the 5th. Why not take the 5th? They’ve already taken $535 million.
- The military’s policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell” is officially over. Don’t confuse this with President Obama’s economic policy, which is “don’t ask, I don’t want to talk about it.”
- Obama says his new plan to raise taxes on millionaires is not class warfare, it’s math. We Americans hate class warfare, but we also hate math.
- Gov. Chris Christie keeps saying he’s not running for president. On the other hand, he would consider running for Santa.
- If he does run and he is elected, say good bye to the White House garden and say hello to the White House Olive Garden.
- Perfect fit: Oval Office, oval president.
- Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie.
- Rick Perry did so badly at the last debate, that President Obama turned to Michelle and said, “Honey, you can stop packing.”
- Police in Los Angeles are looking for vandals who broke into the Obama campaign office. They said it was probably done by someone who was angry at the president. Well, that narrows it down.
- The tea party is forming its own debt super committee that will meet this week at a Florida Denny’s. You do not want to be the waiter that adds the tax to their check.
- Mitt Romney says he wants Sarah Palin to run for president to make the race “more exciting.” Although with Mitt Romney running, even Al Gore on Ambien would make the race more exciting.
- Yesterday President Obama arrived 25 minutes late for a luncheon at the U.N. In fact he was so late, he had to sit next to Biden at the kids table.
See, wasn’t that therapeutic? Making fun of politicians is good for the body and soul.