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Posts Tagged ‘Osama bin Laden’

Reading Mark Steyn’s superb column on the increasingly PC remembrances of 9-11, it occurred to me that the problem is even deeper.

Yes, we should remember 9-11, and be willing to clearly identify the evil that spawned those attacks.

But we also should proudly celebrate the death of the monster at the center of the Al Qaeda web.

We remember December 7 as the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, for example, but we also celebrate V-E day and V-J day to acknowledge when the Germans and Japanese surrendered.

I was in Austria when bin Laden was killed, but I wish I had been at one of these events, to share the cathartic happiness.

At the White House and Ground Zero:

In the City of Brotherly Love:

At some concert of somebody that I’ve never heard of, but it looks like he and his crowd had the appropriate reaction (warning: a few F-bombs):

And because it is a good thing to celebrate the destruction of evil, let’s also remember these jokes mocking the dirtbag (here, here, here, here, here, and here).

And no matter how much I disagree about many of his other policies, I will always give Obama credit for giving the order to deep six that piece of crap.

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After sharing lots of jokes (here, here, here, here, and here) about the much-deserved death of Osama bin Laden, I figured I had beaten that horse enough and re-focused on policy-oriented blogging.

But I’m a sucker for good political humor. So even though this is a remake of a joke I shared last year, it brightened up my Memorial Day and I figure others will enjoy it as well.

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I thought I was done with Osama, but these are too funny not to share.

From Craig Ferguson:

  • The CIA is going through the stuff they found in Osama bin Laden’s compound, including a diary. I didn’t know he had a diary. That is so sweet.
  • Osama bin Laden’s death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, ‘President Obama saves the world.’ Stations on the right are going, ‘Obama kills fellow Muslim.’

From Conan:

  • Al-Qaida has not yet picked a new leader to run their terrorist organization. Apparently, candidates keep losing interest after asking, “What happened to the last guy?”
  • Dick Cheney says he gives Obama high marks on getting bin Laden. He said, “Trust me, I know how hard it is to shoot someone in the face.”

From Jay Leno:

  • Apparently, Pakistan has given the United States permission to interview bin Laden’s wives, as long as we promise not to turn it into a reality show.
  • President Obama said that watching the raid on Osama bin Laden was the longest 40 minutes of his life. Mind you, that’s coming from a guy that has to listen to Joe Biden.

From Jimmy Fallon:

  • Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER.

From David Letterman:

  • The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they’ve granted President Obama full citizenship.

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Not quite as good as the Facebook/Osama joke from yesterday, and perhaps not as good as the Dick Cheney/Osama jokes from earlier in the week, but still very much worth sharing.

By the way, I better stay out of Germany. I noted the other day that German politicians were attacking Chancellor Merkel because she made a politically incorrect statement approving of bin Laden’s death. That’s apparently not just a faux pas in German society, but also a legal mistake. A German judge has filed a criminal complaint against Ms. Merkel for “endorsing a crime.”

That Judge must be a class-A DB. What a spectacularly pathetic example of moral preening.

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Or is it Usama bin Laden? Whatever, at least he doesn’t have 112 different ways of spelling his name, like the dirtbag from Libya.

Anyhow, lots of people really liked the previous post with bin Laden jokes, so I’m responding to market demand with more jokes about Osama.

From Jay Leno:

  • President Obama has done something that no one else has been able to do. He got Donald Trump to shut up.
  • Apparently, Osama bin Laden was killed with money and phone numbers sewn into his clothing. So we got him right before he left for summer camp.
  • Bin Laden was buried at sea. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, “the ultimate waterboarding.”
  • They say bin Laden lived in his compound with nine women and 23 children. I’m surprised the guy didn’t shoot himself in the head.

From Conan:

  • Trump said that he hoped bin Laden suffered a lot. It looks like he got his wish, because the CIA said bin Laden spent his last hour watching “Celebrity Apprentice.”
  • At the time of his death, bin Laden had sewn the equivalent of $740 into his clothing. Experts say his next plan was to launch a major attack, or to rent a one-bedroom apartment in Chicago.
  • Marijuana plants were found near bin Laden’s compound, which explains why bin Laden’s last words were, “Dude . . . “

From David Letterman:

  • It was so nice in New York City today that Navy SEALs raided a Jamba Juice.
  • Osama bin Laden lived in a compound with all of his wives for the last few years. So I guess he did suffer.

From Jimmy Kimmel:

  • The CIA says bin Laden’s last words were, “Are you guys here about the dishwasher?”

From Jimmy Fallon:

  • Rush Limbaugh said yesterday that Obama never would have tracked down bin Laden if it weren’t for George W. Bush’s policies. Although in fairness, Obama never would have even been elected if it weren’t for George W. Bush’s policies.

Last but not least, whoever created this Facebook joke is very clever.

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The late-night comics didn’t even let Osama’s body get warm (oops, I mean cold) before having some fun. Good!

From Jay Leno:

  • The good news: Osama bin Laden is dead. The bad news: there is no bad news.
  • Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved.

From David Letterman:

  • Did everyone enjoy the Osama bin Laden season finale?
  • There’s already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.

From Craig Ferguson:

  • Politicians on both sides are equally happy. Dick Cheney said he hasn’t been this happy since he saw the YouTube video of the girl throwing puppies into the river.
  • Apparently, members of al-Qaida are online slamming the U.S. I don’t understand why they’re so upset. Everyone in al-Qaida just got a promotion.

From Jimmy Kimmel:

  • I would like us to kill bin Laden every Sunday night. It makes for a much brighter start to the week.
  • After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan.
  • I just want to point out that “buried at sea” means “dumped in the ocean.” This could be the best Shark Week ever.

From Jimmy Fallon:

  • Oddly enough, bin Laden’s last words were, “I hope you at least use this to interrupt ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’”
  • Microsoft is bringing back “Clippy,” the cartoon paper clip that used to pop up in Word documents. Apparently he’s been hiding in an upscale suburb of Pakistan.

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