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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

A new tradition (which I hope is very temporary) is sharing coronavirus humor every weekend.

But not just random jokes about things like toilet paper hoarding. I’m only sharing humor that has some connection to politics or public policy.

We’ll start with Bernie Sanders, who says that the Venezuela-ish conditions in some grocery stores don’t qualify as “real socialism.”

Since I believe in targeting politicians from all parties, our next bit of satire involves Trump.

I’ve written in the past about the desirability of armed school teachers.

Well, that’s now what we have in this new era of home schooling.

I assume these next two quotes aren’t actually real, but the fact that they easily could be true is what makes this next item very amusing.

Let’s now look at an article from the Genesius Times.

A poll conducted by the Pew Pew Institute shows that a majority of Americans are unimpressed with their 30-day free trial of Communism. “It kinda sucks,” 19-year-old San Diegan Britta Fowler said of the trial. “I was expecting all this free stuff, which I guess we’re getting, but I also didn’t expect empty store shelves and house arrest for everyone. It’s really lame!” …“We thought we’d entice the people everywhere into Communist utopia with a trial run,” USBS Secretary John Lennon said. “We thought, hey, it works with Netflix, so it should work with Communism!” The federal government worked with the Chinese government and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to launch the coronavirus for the free trial kick-off. “Everything went well but only a few Karens across the country are really enjoying it.” Lennon added. “They really revel in telling people to ‘stay the f**k home!’”

Misogynistic readers may not appreciate this next item.

I thought about saving the following item for my collection of libertarian-themed humor. But since it involves coronavirus, it’s appropriate for today.

I debated whether this item qualifies, but I’m sharing it since my friends on the left are so fixated on gun control.

Next, we have a cameo appearance by Bill Clinton.

Here’s a story from the Babylon Bee, America’s premier site for satire.

When Jeffrey Walton tested positive for COVID-19, he hoped for a speedy recovery. But since he has been treated with hydroxychloroquine, the experimental treatment President Donald Trump has been touting, he now hopes he dies quickly to help prove that Trump is an idiot. …Walton, a lifelong Democrat and progressive, had joined in calling Trump “irresponsible” and an “ignoramus” and now has an opportunity to prove it by simply dying. “It’s such an opportunity, I don’t want to pass it up,” Walton said. …Dr. Logan has been warning Walton that there is a chance he could fully recover. Walton is trying to prepare himself for this — a world where everything isn’t black and white and Trump can be right about some things — but he insists he’d much rather die.

Here’s a tweet that deserves a chuckle or two.

Here’s an item that circulated on the email list of one of my softball teams.

One of my left-leaning teammates decided to edit the image and his version also is worth sharing.

This next bit of satire is actually rather depressing since it’s so accurate.

Since we’re getting plenty of reports that state and local governments are engaging in thuggish behavior to enforce stay-at-home orders (gee, what a surprise), this next bit of satire is very timely.

Our next item targets the Speaker of the House (though there is a potentially serious point to be made about the consequences of the statist policies she supports).

President Trump makes another appearance.

I’ve saved the best for last.

This crowd likes any excuse to buy votes with other people’s money.

P.S. Margaret Thatcher famously warned about what eventually happens with that approach.

P.P.S. If you like mockery of politicians, click here for many amusing examples.

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Say goodbye to “Crazy Bernie.” The socialist senator from Vermont has ended his bid for the Democratic nomination.

I have mixed feelings. Given his genuinely awful views about socialism, I’m glad there’s no risk Bernie Sanders will be in the White House next January.

On the other hand, he deserves credit for being honest about his agenda. And he was a wonderful source for satire and humor.

And that’s today’s topic.

We’ll start with some material about Bernie’s agenda and his campaign and then we’ll close with some jokes about his departure from the presidential race.

This one will only make sense if you’ve seen the 1989 comedy, Weekend at Bernie’s.

But Bernie was never just about free stuff.

He also had a soft spot for totalitarianism. Here’s a story published by the comedic geniuses at Babylon Bee before Bernie exited the race.

At a special campaign appearance abroad in Berlin, Bernie made waves with an ambitious new campaign promise to rebuild the Berlin Wall. …At the announcement, the crowd threw their soy lattes in the air and erupted in a rapturous chant of “Построить эту стену!” which is roughly translated as “build that wall!” Sanders looked out on a sea of hope-filled faces, giddy over the prospect of restoring the majestic landmark built by the German Democratic Republic. The cheering intensified as Bernie promised that not only will he build the wall, but that he will make Trump voters pay for it. …Current estimates say that construction of the wall will provide 2 million shovel-ready jobs and cost approximately 382 billion dollars per mile.

But who would fill those “2 million shovel-ready jobs”?

Not his supporters if this bit of satire is accurate.

As you can see from this image, his economic policies never made much sense.

The coronavirus crisis presumably didn’t help Crazy Bernie’s campaign.

The Babylon Bee reported that Bernie had a hard time maintaining social distancing.

Those suffering the most are American politicians, who have been having quite a bit of trouble staying six feet away from citizens’ wallets. Bernie Sanders was hardest hit by CDC guidelines, as he struggled to stay away from Americans’ wallets, purses, and checkbooks. “These guidelines are ridiculous!” he shouted while feeding pigeons at the park… “How am I supposed to steal money to buy another hou — err, I mean, to give some of it to the 99% — when I can’t even get within six feet of anyone? It’s impossible!” Sanders tried using a makeshift fishing rod, casting it out toward purses left on park benches and reeling it back in.

And the disease may have helped to end his campaign by reminding people what life would like like in a socialist paradise.

Needless to say, it was a poignant moment when the Vermont socialist broke the news to his most avid supporters.

Speaking of his many houses, the Babylon Bee has the scoop on Bernie’s real motive for leaving the race.

Democratic presidential primary candidate Bernie Sanders has dropped out, announcing he wants to spend time with his many, many houses. “It just seemed silly to spend all this time campaigning when I’m neglecting my many houses,” Sanders explained to his supporters. “I’ve made a huge profit pushing socialism and amassed much real estate, and it’s time I enjoy it.” …Now that Bernie Sanders has dropped out, he’s endorsed Donald Trump, whom he refers to as an “idol,” and says he hopes to buy many more houses so he can have a real estate empire just like Trump.

Though maybe the real reason he dropped out is that he’s actually achieved his goals.

The Babylon Bee has the details.

As the coronavirus panic has already accomplished the aims of his socialistic policies, Sanders realized the country didn’t need his public service anymore. Unemployment has skyrocketed, grocery stores have empty shelves, and everyone is confined to their homes on penalty of arrest. This “idyllic paradise” is exactly what Sanders wanted in the first place, so he says he can leave the race satisfied that his vision has been achieved. “This once-in-a-lifetime deadly pandemic has already accomplished what socialism aims to do,” Sanders said in his concession speech. “Since my services are no longer required, I will be suspending my campaign and heading to my house. Well, one of my houses. I haven’t decided which yet. …Sanders also pointed out that his other main goals of hyperinflation and total dependence on the government are already on their way.

Which is also the message of this final addition to our collection of Bernie humor.

P.S. If you haven’t overdosed on Bernie humor, here are some prior columns focusing exclusively on that topic.

And we also have some one-off examples of Bernie humor:

We will miss mocking Bernie. Fortunately, his replacement already exists.

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Until the crisis is over, I plan on sharing coronavirus-themed humor every weekend (previous versions here and here).

We’ll start with a meme that actually does a very good job of capturing the reaction when economists explain that there’s a tradeoff between economic damage and lives saved.

The Remy video at the bottom of this column is even better, if you like satire about saving lives.

Speaking of satire, the Babylon Bee has supplanted the Onion as the go-to site for clever humor.

This story about politicians saving the lives of government programs is a good example of why that’s happened.

America’s heroic lawmakers have managed to come together and pass a stimulus package to save the world from the effects of the coronavirus. A grateful country full of very stimulated Americans is applauding the lifesaving efforts of Congress. Already, experts are predicting the stimulus package will save the lives of at least 85,000 government programs. …”We believe that every government program’s life is infinitely precious and is made in the image of its lobbyist,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “We know that if spending two trillion dollars saves the life of at least one beautiful and valuable government program, it is worth it.” …Thanks to the leadership of Washington, Americans everywhere are learning to appreciate the infinite worth of every lawmaker’s pet project. Experts believe this may mean a greater cultural shift toward a country that deeply respects life (of government programs.)

Here’s an amusing image based on the utterly inane fight over the name of the virus.

There have been plenty of clever memes involving toilet paper in recent weeks, but I’m only sharing examples that somehow intersect with public policy.

This is the first example – given the libertarian interest in cryptocurrency – that satisfies that requirement.

We’ll close with my two favorite selections for today.

First, we have another story from Babylon Bee, this one focusing on New York’s reflexive answer for just about everything.

New York state has announced a new plan to raise taxes on the novel coronavirus. The 15% income tax on all COVID-19 viruses, coupled with an 8% luxury disease tax, is expected to generate significant revenue and stop the virus in its tracks. …”We thought about all the different ways to solve problems that we know of, and we just returned to the tried-and-true method: taxing something until it runs away,” said Governor Andrew Cuomo. “This new legislation will cause the virus to run away and go to those dumb, backward Southern states not smart enough to have a special coronavirus tax.” …The plan seemed to work almost immediately, with coronaviruses packing up their bags, renting U-Hauls, and moving to better states like Texas. Texas has unveiled its own plan to stop the bug, however, shooting the virus with fully automatic weapons on sight.

The last sentence reminds me of other jokes involving Texans and firearms (here, here, here, and here).

Our last item for today is this image, showing ever-greater threats, from my Liberland friends.

The image is amusing, but there’s presumably a non-trivial threat that politicians will grab more power as a result of the crisis and permanently expand the burden of government.

That will mean lots of suffering and hardship, but the silver lining to that dark cloud is that we’ll surely get plenty of new material to add to my collection.

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I shared an initial collection of coronavirus-themed humor last weekend.

Here’s a second round, though you’ll notice that I’m actually mocking politicians (a long-standing tradition) and simply using the coronavirus as an excuse.

Remember Andrew Yang, the guy who ran for president promising every American a monthly check (a.k.a., universal basic income)? Well, somebody has cleverly illustrated how Republicans have suddenly embraced a version of that idea.

Next, I’ve written that the so-called gender pay gap disappears once you account for differences in age, occupations, and hours worked.

Some guy decided to use that myth to seek sympathy.

As you might expect, the superb satirists at Babylon Bee have weighed in about the virus.

Here’s a recent “story” from their site.

As part of a sweeping initiative to help unclog the economic constipation caused by the coronavirus quarantine, the White House announced they are printing out fresh, crisp dollar bills for every US citizen. …The administration explained that, while it’s possible the money might help get things flowing again for people who are in need of a strong push financially, the more practical use will be for those who have run out of toilet paper: “As the economic stoppage causes the dollar’s value to take a dump, we see this as a great alternative to increasingly scarce toilet paper.” …Some remain critical of the action, saying it doesn’t go far enough. Bernie Sanders, who is adorably still in the running for the Democratic presidential nomination, stated, “This will only last us a couple of weeks. We need to print billions in crisp singles for every American if we’re truly going to wipe up this mess!”

Our next addition to the collection was sent to me by a reader who obviously appreciates the irony of Mexico (a would-be libertarian paradise) not wanting potentially infected Americans.

Lots of people are having silly fights about what to call the virus, depending on their views about China.

Here’s some humor related to that issue.

For what it’s worth, I’m skeptical about China’s claims to have eradicated the disease (just like I’m skeptical of the country’s official economic data).

I’ve saved the best for last.

Almost everyone I know, regardless of what score they get on an ideological quiz, enjoys mocking Hillary Clinton (and with good reason!).

Well, she can cure the coronavirus.

Ouch. That’s definitely worth adding to my other examples of Hillary satire.

P.S. If you prefer mocking Bill Clinton, you can enjoy my favorites by clicking herehere, here, here, here, and here.

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I’ve addressed the public-policy implications of the coronavirus, both in general and looking at a couple of specific issues.

Now it’s time for some Gallows Humor about the disease.

We’ll start with this item that’s related to Wednesday’s column about gun ownership and the potential breakdown of civil order.

For what it’s worth, there’s been a significant increase in the percentage of people citing societal breakdown as a reason to support the 2nd Amendment.

I wrote last year about how more than 2 million children are being home-schooled.

That number has skyrocketed with schools being closed, which is giving libertarians an opportunity to pass on important messages to their kids.

I should probably add this to my collection of libertarian humor.

And if you like humor about home-schooling, you’ll enjoy this video.

Next we have a clever meme that a reader sent to me.

This is only the second time that Greta has appeared on this site, which is surprising.

I wrote about potential economic-policy responses to the coronavirus earlier this week.

Here’s a meme about Republicans and Democrats dealing with cognitive dissonance.

Speaking of cognitive dissonance, a lefty friend sent me this very clever bit of Trump-Bernie humor.

Left-leaning readers will also appreciate this and this.

Let’s close with two items that belong in my collection of socialism/communism humor.

It seems we have a second reason to close colleges.

I favor a different approach if we want to cure young people of their infatuation with socialism, but any port in a storm.

Last but not least, there’s a very good solution if you’re running out of toilet paper.

I’m sure Karl won’t mind (though some people at the European Commission will be offended).

If there’s a shortage of this option, I also recommend all ghost-written books from politicians as well as Thomas Piketty’s errorriddled screed, Capital in the 21st Century.

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In recent weeks, I’ve mocked socialism, both as a general concept and as the ideology of Crazy Bernie.

Today, let’s focus on communism, which is socialism’s authoritarian cousin.

We’ll start with an unusual article from Babylon Bee, a must-read satire site. There’s nothing but a headline and an image.

Though this story is only partly satire.

Given the staggering death toll of communism (a body count somewhere between the Spanish Flu and the Black Death), it is far deadlier than the coronavirus.

Readers in the boomer demographic doubtlessly remember the Beatles. After the band broke up, John Lennon had several solo hits, including Imagine, which became an anthem for some leftists in part because it included the line, “Imagine no possessions.”

The clever folks at Babylon Bee have revised the lyrics in the interests of accuracy.

Have you ever tried to imagine living in a perfect world ruled by communism, but previously only received the information from catchy folk songs which praise the system? Well, lucky for you, it is now easier than ever to understand what a full-blown communist utopia actually looks like. …”Imagine” has been rereleased with more realistic lyrics to reflect the harsh realities of communism. Lennon, long dead—though not by way of communism, since he was blessed to live in a capitalist country—would be proud of the change… While the classic folk song does do a fantastic job of laying out the basics of communism—no religion, no possessions, no food—it never invites the listener to imagine all the people in their true form, which is dead—usually by firing squad, but often by way of starvation as well.

Here are some of the updated lyrics.

Since we just traveled back to the 1970s, let stay in that decade by sharing a sketch from Monty Python.

Last but not least, here’s the utopian vision of communism (embraced by 36% of millennials) compared to the grim reality of communism.

P.S. Apologists for Marxism routinely try to dodge accountability by claiming all the real-world examples “weren’t real communism.” Which creates additional opportunities for satire.

P.P.S. Like modern leftists who talk one way and live another way, John Lennon did not put his money where his mouth was. He preached leftism while enjoying a life of luxury thanks to personal earnings of several hundred million dollars.

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It’s frightening that an out-of-the-closet socialist like Crazy Bernie is the Democratic frontrunner and it’s disheartening that so many young people are attracted to that poisonous ideology.

The only silver lining to this dark cloud is that I get sent endless examples of clever anti-socialist humor.

I have an entire page dedicated to the genre and today is another opportunity to expand the collection.

We’ll start with an apt illustration of “democratic socialism,” akin to this balloon example.

Given the grossly inadequate track record of socialism, this next item is quite appropriate.

Indeed, it gives me an opportunity to re-issue my two-question challenge and ask anyone to give me a successful example of real-world socialism?

Here’s a recently released parody of a news report from the Socialist News Network.

Our next example asks why people don’t flee to socialist nations?

A literal example of “voting with your feet.”

Speaking of socialism, I can’t imagine that Greta Thunberg actually favors communism, but she certainly favors massive levels of government intervention and control.

Though Venezuela, as you can see from this bit of satire, certainly hasn’t benefited from that approach.

The final two items are my favorites.

First, we learn that socialists don’t necessarily want everything you have.

Second, we get a hint of why some academics support socialism.

For what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure this is the prof who gave AOC her economics degree.

P.S. I also have plenty of examples of Bernie Sanders satire, which is a special genre of socialist humor.

P.P.S. In the interest of equal time, here’s my collection of libertarian humor.

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