Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

My all-time favorite bit of Halloween humor is this video, which I periodically recycle.

Courtesy of the satirists at Babylon Bee, we now have some more Halloween-themed humor.

A haunted house for our left-leaning friends!

It’s that time of year where houses, churches, and businesses around the neighborhood begin opening up their haunted houses for those seeking a good fright. One haunted house in Portland is promising progressives the scariest experience of all: a tour of a regular conservative guy’s home. The home contains a sizable collection of guns, several Bibles, a few American flags, some pictures of Ronald Reagan, and of course, a copy of the Constitution. “I can’t look!” screamed one progressive as he opened one door and saw a hunting rifle. “Ahhhhh!!!” He ran from the house screaming, taking shelter in a nearby yoga studio. …No progressive has currently made it through more than a few rooms in the house, as they usually run screaming or dive out a window in their hurry to get away.

By the way, we can’t have a holiday without considering how it is hindered by the visible foot of government (as opposed to the prosperity-creating invisible hand of the market).

Janelle Cammenga of the Tax Foundation has some analysis of how state politicians have turned the taxation of candy into a complicated mess.

If you’re like many Americans, you’ve been stockpiling bags of chocolate and nougat-based treats to share with trick-or-treaters… In other words, there’s no better time for a map looking at how different state sales taxes treat consumable goods like candy… Forty-five states and the District of Columbia levy a state sales tax. Of those, thirty-two states and the District of Columbia exempt groceries from the sales tax base. Twenty-three states and D.C. treat either candy or soda differently than groceries. Eleven of the states that exempt groceries from their sales tax base include both candy and soda in their definition of groceries: Arizona, Georgia, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, South Carolina, Vermont, and Wyoming. …This picking and choosing creates arbitrary and counterintuitive discrepancies that go beyond the bowl of Halloween candy. If you live in New Jersey, it also affects the jack-o-lantern on your front porch. A recent tweet by the New Jersey Division of Taxation reminded consumers that decorative pumpkins are subject to sales tax, but pumpkins intended to be eaten are exempt. …Twenty-four states align with the Streamlined Sales and Use Tax Agreement (SSUTA), which determines that candy is different from other sweet foods because it comes in the form of bars, drops, or pieces, and does not contain flour. …this particular definition leads to some interesting distinctions: If you bought a Hershey’s® bar, it would be subject to sales tax. If you bought a Twix® bar, it would be tax-free.

If that wasn’t sufficiently confusing, here’s a map showing the strange mix of different tax regimes.

At the risk of being wonky, the best sales tax is zero. Just like the best income tax is zero.

But if politicians are going to grab that source of revenue, they should have the lowest-possible rate and impose it evenly on all consumption. As the Tax Foundation observed, “…states and consumers alike would benefit from a low, flat-rate sales tax that captures all final consumer products. Such a tax would be easy to administer, providing a stable source of revenue through a neutral and transparent structure.”

At the risk of understatement, it’s not good tax policy to have zero-tax rules for groceries combined with a hodge-podge of special taxes on candy.

But politicians benefit from a complicated approach because they can swap special favors for campaign cash. Just like the crowd in Washington uses the internal revenue code as a means of extorting money.

P.S. Thanks to corrupt sugar subsidies, our Halloween candy is needlessly expensive.

P.P.S If you want more Halloween-themed humor, here are some oldies but goodies about Obamacare. And here a couple of classics about class-warfare Halloween.

Read Full Post »

Since Elizabeth Warren is now the supposed frontrunner for the Democrats, she merits closer inspection.

That includes serious analysis of her policy proposals. I’ve already done some of that (reviewing her statist views on Social Security, corporate governance, federal spending, taxation, Wall Street, etc).

And, since all politicians deserve mockery, it also includes humor.

Needless to say, most Warren satire revolves around her dodgy claim to Indian ancestry. I’ve already shared some examples, and we’re adding to that collection today.

We’ll start with a pointed observation about her support for gun control

By the way, check the end of this column for a more serious take on the topic.

Returning to today’s theme, Senator Warren appeared on daytime TV to get her DNA results.

Though, to be fair, her DNA test did discover a tiny trace of Indian ancestry.

Though not enough to beat Ivory.

And since I used to drive a Jeep Cherokee, I found this item particularly amusing.

Last but not least, here’s an item for conspiracy-minded folks who think Bill and Hillary Clinton have a habit of…well, let’s put it delicately…a habit of permanently removing political obstacles.

I’ll close with a serious point.

There’s nothing wrong with Warren thinking she had Indian ancestry. Plenty of people presumably have mistaken beliefs about their genetic wiring, especially in a melting-pot nation like the United States.

And I don’t even have a big problem with her fake stories about family persecution. I suspect all politicians embellish their resumes and try to make their life stories more appealing.

What’s offensive about Warren, however, is that she used fake claims of minority status for personal advantage, even if it meant taking jobs from real minorities (which is why her phoniness reminds me of Soul Man, a comedic flick from the 1980s).

P.S. Since I believe in the humor version of equal opportunity, we have some Bernie humor here, here, and here, some Biden humor here, here, and here, and some potshots at Trump here, here, and here.

P.P.S. And let’s not forget this mockery of Senator Warren from 2011.

Read Full Post »

It’s time to add some new material to our collection of gun control satire.

We’ll start with this clever use of rhetoric from the debate over illegal immigration.

Seems like a very humane approach.

Next, fans of Willy Wonka will appreciate this side trip into the land of make-believe.

By the way, I’m always happy to share clever humor from the other side, such as this depiction of an American breakfast.

So enjoy this German-language explanation of how to smuggle candy into an American theater.

This next bit of satire is amusing, though I wish its creator just used a random collection of David Hogg-types for the lower frame. As explained by the Pink Pistols, gun rights are especially important for sometimes-persecuted groups.

Three years ago, I shared an amusing comparison of how Europeans and Texans respond to terrorism.

Well, here’s a left-wing version of Paul Revere, warning neighbors of a looming terror attack.

Finally, let’s close with an amusing modification of the one-liner that Elizabeth Warren uses to denigrate gun owners.

We can safely assume that Ms. Warren has never seen this image. Or, if she has, she reached the wrong conclusion.

P.S. On a more serious note about gun control, I invite readers to peruse my collection (here, here, here, here, and here) of honest leftists.

Read Full Post »

I’m getting worried that Senator Bernie Sanders is fading in the polls.

That doesn’t make me happy. I want Crazy Bernie to stay relevant.

Why? Because he’s an endless source of clever satire.

Previous editions of Bernie humor can be found here and here.

For today’s edition, let’s start with the fact that Bernie has used political office to become a millionaire, yet he doesn’t put his money where his mouth is (the federal government actually has a website for people who are foolish enough to pay extra tax).

Bernie also has an opinion on the protests in Hong Kong. At least according to the satirists at the Babylon Bee.

As soon as Bernie Sanders heard about the democratic protesters in Hong Kong, he knew something had to be done. The U.S. senator quickly chartered a flight to Hong Kong… Sanders bravely stood in the middle of the conflict between police and protesters, shouting at the “ungrateful little dissenters”… “Remember, you could have it a lot worse—you could be in America!” Sanders bellowed as police officers for the totalitarian regime beat protesters in the background. …Sanders continued his long-winded rant about the need for the government to own the means of production, how great breadlines are, and how bad things are in capitalist America as protesters got dragged away by police to be disappeared. “Just think—in America, we have to pick between 14 different types of deodorant!” he said, his fingers flopping around like limp sausages.

While this story is amusing, the folks at Babylon Bee screwed up. The people of Hong Kong aren’t protesting because they live in a communist system.

They’re protesting because they’re worried that China will sooner or later absorb them into a communist system.

But since so much real media is “fake but accurate” (or is it “accurate but fake”?), I’m not going to worry about details.

Let’s now shift to another example of Babylon Bee satire.

Showing himself to be a compassionate man of the people who cares deeply about the plight of the downtrodden, Senator Bernie Sanders selflessly offered a stack of bills to a homeless man on the street Monday after fishing the money out of a purse sitting next to a woman on a park bench. Sanders had been…on the prowl for people who looked like they had too much money when he leaped out to steal the wallet from the purse… The Vermont senator..saw a homeless man sitting nearby, begging for money. Moved by the pathetic sight of the man’s disheveled appearance, Sanders found it in his heart to commit a random act of kindness, digging through the wallet until he was able to find several $20 bills and slipping them into the man’s hand. “It’s not theft—it’s redistribution,” he told reporters later. “I was simply…doing what any old citizen couldn’t do without committing a crime. But it’s different because I’m the government, see?” At publishing time, the Senator was seen pocketing the rest of the money.

How very generous he is with other people’s money!

Last but not least, here’s a game from Imgur that allows anyone to prepare a Bernie speech. For some reason, it reminds me of State-of-the-Union bingo during the Obama years.

For other examples of Bernie humor, you can click hereherehereherehereherehere, and here.

Read Full Post »

Time to augment our growing collection of satire about the twin horrors of socialism and communism.

Today, we’ll concentrate on the latter form of totalitarianism and mock Marxism.

The New York Times has a bizarre history of going out of its way to praise communism, often for very weird reasons.

So this bit of satire from Babylon Bee seems like it could be real.

The New York Times…prais[ed] the Soviet Union for its unprecedented gender equality at its brutal prison camps. …the Soviets provided forced labor opportunities for people of all races, genders, and orientations, pointing out that while the United States may have won the Cold War and the Space Race, the USSR won the victories that counted: imprisoning all people equally. “They even employed female guards, LGBTQ guards, and guards of color,” the piece read. “From prison guards to prisoners, the Soviets were years and years ahead of the U.S. when it came to equality. …Many people on social media pointed out that gender equality wasn’t really something to be praised when it comes to a totalitarian regime. But the Times simply doubled down, publishing pieces that praised the Soviet Union for.. The wage gap: everybody made almost no money equally…Environmental policy: constant blackouts mean smaller carbon footprint.

The last sentence of that excerpt is especially funny since it’s true.

Folks on the left have actually lauded impoverished nations because they don’t produce and consume as much.

Now let’s look at the communist version of a famous board game.

For what it’s worth, the communist version of the game isn’t quite as elaborate as the Bernie version.

Now let’s return to Babylon Bee for some additional mockery.

A study performed by researchers at Harvard University found a strong link between supporting the idea of communism and never once having even briefly opened a history book, sources confirmed Tuesday. …“We found that of the people who advocate communism today, over 97% slept all the way through each of their history classes in elementary school, high school, and college,” head researcher Todd Devlin said in a statement accompanying the release of the study’s findings. …The study also found that the majority of modern communists who do happen across a stray piece of information showing the horrors and atrocities of real-life communism are able to quickly rationalize the historical facts away by labeling those examples “not real communism.”

Reminds me of this cartoon about AOC.

Speaking of the never-ending rationalization that communist failures weren’t “real communism,” let’s close today’s column with this link sent by a reader.

There’s a similar lather-rinse-repeat cycle among apologists for socialism.

But while it’s amusing to mock socialism and communism, let’s never forget the horrific suffering and death that these evil ideologies have produced.

Read Full Post »

Yesterday’s column weighed in on the debate whether Jesus was a socialist.

Like Cal Thomas, I don’t think the Bible supports coercive redistribution by government.

Today, let’s look at the same issue, but from a humorous perspective.

For those on the other side of the debate, Socialist Jesus has a very efficient mechanism to collect alms for the poor.

This approach is supported by some parishoners.

From Babylon Bee, we have a story about a disciple of Socialist Jesus.

A lot of Christians are criticized for not being very compassionate to the poor. But you can’t say that about Larry DeManson, a local believer who is so committed to charity for those less fortunate than himself that he always votes for government to steal money from his neighbor and give it to the impoverished. …DeManson no longer has a guilty conscience whenever he sees people in need. “I don’t personally have to do anything,” he said. “The government does it for me.” The man cites the verse “somewhere in James” that says that “true religion before the Father is to forcibly redistribute money from those wealthier than you in order to take care of the poor.”

Now let’s look at an alternative approach.

Except we won’t be sharing insights from Libertarian Jesus.

Instead, courtesy of Imgur, we have the story of Supply-Side Jesus.

And this Supply-Side Jesus is an advocate of trickle-down economics.

He creates lots of jobs.

And he believes in self-sufficiency.

He also opposes class warfare.

Supply-Side Jesus is a fan of the entrepreneur class.

And he understands self-promotion.

But not everyone is happy.

Supply-Side Jesus was in trouble.

But he avoided trouble, thanks to majoritarianism.

Supply-Side Jesus then decided to enter politics.

I don’t know who created this cartoon strip, but kudos for some clever humor (though I imagine practitioners of the “Prosperity Gospel” won’t be amused).

As a general rule, I find that leftists are too dour to create effective political humor (see the Black NRA, for instance). But when they come up with something clever (see here, here, and here), I’m more than willing to applaud.

Even when they mock libertarians!

Read Full Post »

Given the misery that it has inflicted on the world, it’s just about impossible to think of socialism as a gift.

However, when I want new material for my humor collection, I think of socialism as the gift that keeps on giving. The ideology is such a failure that it creates a target-rich environment for satire.

Such as this funny t-shirt.

Reminds me of the Churchill quote about the socialism.

Next we an image that mocks socialism, though it’s actually not humorous.

It’s sad that socialism is ruining nations such as Venezuela, and it’s downright tragic that there’s so much terrible suffering. But at least it gives us the opportunity to share this meme.

Last but not least, if you follow the news closely, you may have seen that Nike decided that it wouldn’t sell sneakers adorned with the flag designed by Betsy Ross.

Why would they do something like that? Because Colin Kaepernick somehow decided that flag is a racist symbol.

For those who want to understand that crazy decision, I strongly recommend this column by Jonah Goldberg.

But if you simply want to laugh at Nike, this bit of satire from Babylon Bee is must reading.

Nike has released a new patriotic shoe just in time for the Fourth of July: the Sanders Air Marx, the official, signature shoe of Senator Bernie Sanders. …The shoes pack in all kinds of useful features for people living in a socialist regime, including…ActiveShrink technology helps the shoe shrink right along with you as you wither away from starvation… Breadline Padding Plus helps you stand in breadlines for hours hoping the government is generous enough to give you some food… The shoes are completely edible and can be boiled into soup or gruel in a pinch… The shoes are not available for purchase but will be given from Nike according to their ability to each customer according to their needs. …The Sanders Air Marx is only available in one size, as Sanders remarked: “who needs a choice of shoe size when there are starving children in the world?”

And here’s the new sneaker for the discerning socialist shopper.

It’s the little touches that make this so clever, including a Venezuela flag.

P.S. I can’t imagine any company would ever actually try to sell a sneaker like this. Then again, I never would have imagined that dupes and apologists would be walking around with trendy Che Guevara t-shirts.

P.P.S. Here’s another Churchill quote about socialism.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: