Archive for December 25th, 2022

Since it’s Christmas, I don’t think anyone is interested in boring diatribes about tax reform or government spending.

So let’s continue the tradition of celebrating a libertarian(ish) holiday. Here are the previous editions.

For this year, our theme is Christmas presents.

The Babylon Bee has a gift guide to help left-wing parents pick the best presents for their kids. Here are my favorites.

1) Brand new gender: New genders are so hot right now. We would urge you to grab one before they run out, but honestly, there will always be more genders.

2) Allowance increase followed by tax increase: This valuable life lesson will impart to your youngling the wisdom found in pretending to give while actually taking.

3) Battery-powered police car to flip over and set on fire: Progressive children love acting out violently in the name love. This flammable gift is perfect if your child was too young to burn actual police cars back in 2020.

4) Crowbar and a ride to Nordstrom: Unique experiences are the most precious gifts you can give your child. This gift offers a hands-on understanding of where progressive policies have led.

8) Coal: This will prevent conservatives from burning it in power plants and destroying the planet!

9) Chairman Mao pop-up book: Let your child’s imagination be filled with stories of the beloved revolutionary who called for equality and fairness for everyone besides the 80 million who died under his rule.

Don’t forget to add “Kronies,” though they are now collectors’ items.

Now let’s shift to Reason, which surprisingly has a serious gift guide.

And very few of the gifts have anything to do with libertarian philosophy, but there is a bit of commentary mixed in for a few of the gifts.

And that means some of them are worth sharing.

Meater+ connects via Bluetooth to any smartphone or tablet, providing real-time updates on the ambient air temperature and the internal temperature of whatever is on the grill. …Even though it comes pre-loaded with the Food and Drug Administration’s recommended temperatures for each type and cut of meat, Meater+ lets you freely ignore the food bureaucrats’ often ridiculous edicts.

The “Come Back With A Warrant” doormat is a mainstay of liberty-minded home décor, and for good reason. It fulfills a utilitarian function—giving guests a place to wipe their feet—while also making your legal knowledge known to any state actors who might come a-knocking. …This holiday season, give the new home or apartment owner a gift that will both spiff up their doorway and remind guests—and government employees—that you are not to be trifled with.

…there’s the Lego City Roadwork Truck, which gives you another holiday excuse to teach a liberty-minded little one that government coercion isn’t necessary for successful public infrastructure projects. At a minimum, a firm foundation in road work terminology comes in handy when the future free thinker finds herself dorm room jousting with a “you didn’t build that”-kind of collectivist.

No libertarian bunker is complete without a decent soldering iron. Enter the Hakko FX600. …For those who get good at it, fixing stuff will become a hedge against instability. …it doesn’t take a doomsday scenario for some basic wiring skills to come in handy.

Throw away that five-gallon jug because gravity bongs just got a major upgrade. Stündenglass combines physics, airflow, and clean design to create a contactless smoke delivery system. With a 360-degree rotatable activation, it’s easy to keep herbs burning with no re-light needed.

P.S. If you some more Christmas-themed humor…

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