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Archive for April 7th, 2019

Time to augment our collection of libertarian-themed humor.

Today’s additions starts with might happen to me if I was hiding from a crazed murderer (h/t: Libertarian Reddit).

Actually, I wouldn’t get butchered for this reason since I’m not an anarcho-capitalist.

But I probably wouldn’t be able to resist blurting out that the United States prospered for 100-plus years without an income tax, or that taxes could be very low even with an elastic definition of what counts as public goods.

Next we have some clever Game-of-Thrones satire from the folks at Reason.

I’ve never seen the show, but that’s not necessary since this video perfectly captures the tendency of libertarians to make pedantic (albeit accurate) assertions.

Anyhow, if you liked the narrator of that video, you’ll also like this one, this one, and this one.

Now let’s look at a clever article from the satirists at Babylon Bee.

In an attempt to fulfill the biblical command in 1 Timothy 2 to lift up one’s leaders in prayer, local libertarian believer Stan Marshall asked God to cripple the government and bring it to a swift demise, sources confirmed Tuesday. …He prayed specifically for his local government leaders, that God would providentially deprive them of the “coerced funds” necessary to do their jobs, as well as for the country’s national leaders, that the Almighty would ignite a passionate revolution among the people in order to remove them from power. “Even if you disagree with the people in power, it’s a biblical mandate that we pray for our leaders, and I do that by asking the Lord to smite them each and every day,” he told reporters.

I imagine that most religious libertarians simply pray for politicians to have the wisdom to do as little as possible.

But I like the way Stan takes it to the next level.

Next, we have a doggie that takes after the libertarian chicken.

Let’s look at another example of libertarian-themed humor from Babylon Bee. In this case, libertarians prevail because we’re so relentlessly annoying about our ideas.

The U.S. government announced Monday it will be adopting more libertarian policies going forward, including lower taxes, greater support for civil liberties, and a drastically decentralized federal government, “if all the libertarians will agree to just shut up and stop complaining for like one freaking second.” The announcement was issued in the form of a joint statement by the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of the federal government, and is contingent upon libertarians “chilling out a bit” and immediately ceasing from posting memes stating “Taxation is Theft” and “End the Fed” every single second they’re on the internet. …At publishing time, libertarians from across the country had refused to dial down the rhetoric even a little bit, calling the compromise “the greatest travesty since the British raised taxes on tea.”

Unrealistic? Of course.

But I’m willing to be extra annoying just in case this might work.

Next, we get a reappearance of Libertarian Dork.

And here’s an example (from Libertarian Reddit) of how I feel when I’m talking to people in Washington…followed by their reactions to my sensible statements.

Last but not least, here’s a potential reason why libertarianism faces an uphill battle.

You can find even better versions of this meme here and here.

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