Writing for the Huffington Post, some guy named Jonathan Bines does a good job of poking fun at Republicans with a GOP-to-English dictionary.
His list of definitions is not quite as amusing as this video mocking libertarians (we should all learn to laugh at ourselves), but it’s still worth sharing.
Here are his best entries.
- Birth Certificate: An official birth record required of all US Presidents, regardless of race, since 2008.
- Christmas: A holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, now rarely celebrated due to persecution by atheists.
- Constitution (U.S.): The hallowed founding document of the United States, the text of which must be interpreted strictly and amended immediately
- Deficits: 1) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Democrats that threaten to bankrupt the country. 2) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Republicans that don’t matter.
- Hitler: A man to whom it would be inappropriate to compare President Obama in spite of the many uncanny similarities.
- Jesus: Charismatic religious leader and son of God; born in Bethlehem in the year 0; beliefs include love, charity, enhanced interrogation, privatized healthcare, elimination of the estate tax, and the right to carry concealed semiautomatic weapons.
- Liberal: A person who should be rounded up and shot but not really.
- Medicare: A fraudulent, socialistic boondoggle that is sacrosanct.
- Obamacare: A Federally-mandated policy to address the national oversupply of grandparents through euthanasia.
- Party (Tea): A grass-roots movement of patriotic Americans fighting for the principle of “No Taxation With Representation.”
- Racism: A form of discrimination that typically happens in reverse.
- Social Security: A redistributionist Ponzi scheme that is sacrosanct.
- Socialism: An economic system invented by FDR.
- Taxes: Levies imposed by the government that raise more revenue the lower they are.
- Welfare: A government program to distribute Cadillacs to unwed mothers.
If you don’t like laughing at Republicans, here’s my favorite cartoon mocking leftist economics. And here’s a cartoon that must be funny since it is the most-viewed post in the history of this blog.
“We should all learn to laugh at ourselves.” Really? Why? If we hold dear certain core values, like freedom and individual rights, why should we mock them? To appease those who don’t?
In any case, that guy isn’t laughing at himself, but at his political enemies, through generalization and distortion. Screw him.
By the way, I’m not a Republican, a conservative or a religious man.
The first economist (cartoon)
“And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough”
Luke 22:35-38
Must have been concealed carry, otherwise they wouldn’t have had to point them out to him.
I was good for most all of this except that I thought that socialism was invented by Woodrow Wilson. Or it could have been the Donner Party.
And the Tea Party said no representative taxation with the confusion of the multitude.
Wait. that part’s not funny.
> Jesus: … born in Bethlehem in the year 0
Sorry, there is no year 0.
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Yes, this pretty much describes Washington Republican’s to a “T”. These deficits and government overreach will quickly be forgotten once the GOP takes over. The only difference is the government intrusion will just be a little slower. Although the Hitler comment is way off, did the Bush/Hitler comments of 2001 through 2009 not happen?
Well, at least he got the one on taxes right… lol
How easy it really is to speak out of both sides of your own mouth and to contradict everything you say….that is what it means to be a Republican.
Many are as useless as a feminist @ the Playboy Mansion but every once in a while they do something good….like cut taxes….even if the spending never seems to get cut.
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