With apologies to Freddy Mercury, the Bungalow Exporters are now the champions of the Arlington County Tuesday night softball league, sweeping our way through the tournament with four straight victories. We clinched the title yesterday with two mercy-rule victories, showing that even the leftists on the team don’t believe in redistribution when push comes to shove.
The only thing that tarnishes our victory is that we played in a government-organized league with government-provided umpires. I even drove on government-maintained roads to get to the government-owned fields. Heck, a majority of people on the team work for the government. I guess that proves I’m a pragmatic moderate after all.