Or is it Usama bin Laden? Whatever, at least he doesn’t have 112 different ways of spelling his name, like the dirtbag from Libya.
Anyhow, lots of people really liked the previous post with bin Laden jokes, so I’m responding to market demand with more jokes about Osama.
From Jay Leno:
- President Obama has done something that no one else has been able to do. He got Donald Trump to shut up.
- Apparently, Osama bin Laden was killed with money and phone numbers sewn into his clothing. So we got him right before he left for summer camp.
- Bin Laden was buried at sea. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, “the ultimate waterboarding.”
- They say bin Laden lived in his compound with nine women and 23 children. I’m surprised the guy didn’t shoot himself in the head.
- Trump said that he hoped bin Laden suffered a lot. It looks like he got his wish, because the CIA said bin Laden spent his last hour watching “Celebrity Apprentice.”
- At the time of his death, bin Laden had sewn the equivalent of $740 into his clothing. Experts say his next plan was to launch a major attack, or to rent a one-bedroom apartment in Chicago.
- Marijuana plants were found near bin Laden’s compound, which explains why bin Laden’s last words were, “Dude . . . “
From David Letterman:
- It was so nice in New York City today that Navy SEALs raided a Jamba Juice.
- Osama bin Laden lived in a compound with all of his wives for the last few years. So I guess he did suffer.
From Jimmy Kimmel:
- The CIA says bin Laden’s last words were, “Are you guys here about the dishwasher?”
From Jimmy Fallon:
- Rush Limbaugh said yesterday that Obama never would have tracked down bin Laden if it weren’t for George W. Bush’s policies. Although in fairness, Obama never would have even been elected if it weren’t for George W. Bush’s policies.
Last but not least, whoever created this Facebook joke is very clever.