The late-night comics didn’t even let Osama’s body get
warm (oops, I mean cold) before having some fun. Good!
From Jay Leno:
- The good news: Osama bin Laden is dead. The bad news: there is no bad news.
- Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved.
From David Letterman:
- Did everyone enjoy the Osama bin Laden season finale?
- There’s already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.
From Craig Ferguson:
- Politicians on both sides are equally happy. Dick Cheney said he hasn’t been this happy since he saw the YouTube video of the girl throwing puppies into the river.
- Apparently, members of al-Qaida are online slamming the U.S. I don’t understand why they’re so upset. Everyone in al-Qaida just got a promotion.
From Jimmy Kimmel:
- I would like us to kill bin Laden every Sunday night. It makes for a much brighter start to the week.
- After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan.
- I just want to point out that “buried at sea” means “dumped in the ocean.” This could be the best Shark Week ever.
From Jimmy Fallon:
- Oddly enough, bin Laden’s last words were, “I hope you at least use this to interrupt ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’”
- Microsoft is bringing back “Clippy,” the cartoon paper clip that used to pop up in Word documents. Apparently he’s been hiding in an upscale suburb of Pakistan.