The greed of the political class is boundless. They have figured out how to tax just about everything, including a tax on tanning salons to finance Obamacare.
But for sheer ingenuity (in the philosophically perverted sense), I must tip my proverbial hat to the politicians who want to tax toilet paper. Here’s a blurb from the Omaha newspaper.
Mayor Jim Suttle went to Washington Tuesday flush with ideas for how federal officials could help cities like Omaha pay for multibillion-dollar sewer projects. Among the items on his brainstorming list: a proposal for a 10-cent federal tax on every roll of toilet paper you buy. Based on the four-pack price for Charmin double rolls Tuesday at a midtown Hy-Vee, such a tax would add more than 10 percent to the per-roll price, pushing it over a buck. The idea came from a failed 2009 House measure by an Oregon congressman to help cities and the environment. “I heard about it and said, ‘Well, this is simple. Let’s put it on the table,’” said Suttle.
I’m not overly clever with puns, but how about:
Won’t the a@@holes in Washington leave our a@@holes alone?
We really mean it when we say politicians are doing a @hitty job?
Cleaning up after politicians dump on us?
Mayor Suttle’s VAT
We tax your land and tax your home,
All you possess, from crypt to dome.
We tax three ways the daily wage
Of young and old and middle age.
We tax your cigarettes, and more,
We tax the alcohol you pour.
Your restaurant has a special rate
As does your bygone dad’s estate.
We tax your car and we impose
A tax on household goods and clothes.
Your haircuts, pedicures and nails
Are taxed as services or sales.
But still the budget comes up short
And now we’ve hit the last resort.
A dime a roll – a trifling fee –
For those who want to use T.P.
Our Democratic mayor sees
He’s got the people on their knees.
And so he adds upon their backs
This little Value Added Tax!
thebardofmurdock.blogspot.com
It should have read like this:
Mayor Jim Suttle went to Washington Tuesday with a list of brainstorming ideas on how federal officials could tax people who work even more.
“I thought about it and said, ‘Well, we can’t tax the food on the table much more than we already have, how about we tax it at the other end?’” said Suttle.
Hilliary Clinton was quoted “we tax anything that moves”. That includes bowel movements now known as Turd Tax.
Mr. Mitchell:
Funny! The “Leave our a@#)%les alone! is, by far, the best line. As good as that line that you once posted: “Only the TSA knows if Lady Gaga is actually a lady”
But your post “5 reasons why Switzerland is better than the USA” was extremely funny, pure first class “tongue in cheek” humor and the best Dan-Mitchell-made humor that I have read.
Love the humor posts on this blog. I am not good at humor, so I am not entering the contest.
Someone in office pulled a dirty caper,
Began to tax our toilet paper.
Can not wait, can not linger,
look out ass hole, here comes finger!
I bet Sheryl Crow can give y’all some great advice on how to reduce your tax bills.
Please don’t squeeze the charmin?